Road to the Multi Verse Buffy styleOpen Challenge
by Xanderrocksthehouse
Summary: I got an idea last night. I wanted to write a Buffy Multiverse story. Don't know what the Multiverse is Google it along with Family Guy. After this chapter where Buffy and Xander end up will be completely based on where you guys send them. I will not refuse any suggestion with the exception to porn. That being said I am rating this high as a just in case. Buffy belongs to JW
1. Chapter 1

Xander sat behind the wheel of his truck in the parking lot of the mega mall. He was waiting for Buffy to come out. An old Lady Gaga tune played on the radio. Xander drummed his fingers on the dashboard humming. He looked at his watch. Buffy had been in the mall for half an hour now and she told Xander she was just going to be a minute. The problem was during the right sale Buffy lost all concept of time. He felt for the lever under his seat and reclined laying back. He closed his eyes just settling in to his sweet spot when he recognized the familiar voice yelling. "XANDER coming YOUR WAY." Quickly his eyes eye popped open. He saw a man running through the parking lot as Buffy was running hot on his heals.

Fortunately for Xander the guy was running right at him. As he ran between the vehicles Xander waited for the right moment and tossed the door to his truck open . As fast as the man was running he couldn't stop and the hard steel of the door clotheslined him. Xander jumped out of the car. "And that's how you get a W." The guy laid on the ground sucking in air. Xander put his foot on the man's chest and raised his arms in the air. Buffy came running up next to him.

"Good job Xander."

Xander looked at her. "What do we got here? Can't be a vampire in this sunlight, demon or beastie is disguise."

Buffy shook her head. "This is actually just a good old fashioned mugger." Buffy leaned down to the knocked out man. "This lovely piece of crap stole a backpack off a little kid in the mall."

Mall security ran up behind Buffy the balding overweight mall cop held his side. "Thank you miss I think we can take it from here. The police are already on the way."

Buffy held up the back pack. "What about this and the little kid."

The guard slapped the cuffs on the assailant and picked him up off the ground. "I didn't get to see what the kid looked like but if you want to."

"Do your job? Find the kid and return the backpack?"

The guard nodded and smiled. "That would be great."

Xander looked at the door inspecting it for any damage. "My truck better not be damaged."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Calm down it is a truck it's meant to take the occasional hit." She sighed "Come on help me find this id and get him his stuff back."

Xander sighed "Fine but I hope you are done with your shopping."

Buffy rolled her eyes not saying anything one way or the other. "Just let's find this kid."

He walked along side of Buffy and opened the door to the mall for her. "What's this kid look like?"

"I think he had a yellow shirt and red jumper."

"What is a jumper?"

"You know they are like over alls."

"How old is he?"

"I don't know 2 maybe 3"

"What did his parents look like?"

"I didn't see any parents I just saw the kid."

"What? Who leaves a kid alone in the mall?"

Buffy walked back to the spot of the crime. "This is where the kids was. I don't see him now."

Xander took a deep breath. "Not seeing anyone matching that description."

"Well Xander you go left and I will go right meet in the middle."

"Sounds like a plan."

They both looked through the crowded mall for the next half hour. Unfortunately the kid they were looking for was gone. Buffy sat on the bench waiting for Xander to return. As she sat on the bench she noticed a shoe sale going on. In all fairness Xander wasn't back yet and it would only be a minute. She stood to her feet ready to make her way in to the store.

"Freeze Summers."

She closed her eyes. "Xander I was just going to be a minute."

"Right you a minute."

Buffy turned looking at him. "Did you find the kid?"

Xander shook his head. "If you are asking that it means you didn't find him either."

Xander sighed. "Come on we have to get going. "

"What about the bag?"

"Willow's birthday party is in half an hour. Why don't you look through the bag on the way home and see if you can find a name or address."

"I guess that makes sense. I don't want to be late for the party."

10 minutes later they were in the truck. Xander was driving his truck with Buffy next to him in the front seat. Buffy was looking at the back pack and smiled. "Ah ha. We got a name I think."

"What is the name?"

"S. Griffin."

"What about an address."

Buffy shook her head. "Maybe inside the bag."

"Well let's go rummaging through a 3 year olds bag and see if we can find anything good."

Buffy pulled the zipper down opening the bag. "Well let's see here we got a ziplock bag of Goldfish crackers."

"Ooooh gimme I am starving."

"Nooooo. These belong to a little boy."

Xander grumbled "Not like he's eating them now."

Buffy just continued pulling thing out of the bag. "Oh it looks like there are blue prints in the back."

"Blue prints for what?"

Buffy read the top right corner. "Schematics for a time machine."

Xander laughed. "What the hell kind of kid is this?"

Buffy just kept digging. "I think there is one more thing." She reached deeper in to the bag and pulled out an ipod. "Oh I think I found an iPod."

"Really?"

Buffy held it up like a trophy. "See."

"When we get back we should give it to Willow. Sometimes people register them. We might be able to find a name that way."

"That is a good idea Xander."

Xander stopped the truck at the red light. "Well you know I am entitled the occasional good idea."

"Wonder what kind of music a 3 year old listens to."

"I can't have a goldfish cracker but you can snoop through his music."

"Oh stop." She pushed the on button and the it suddenly occurred to her this wasn't an iPod at all. The device lit up in Buffy's hand and suddenly she felt herself getting pulled away. Xander was suddenly pulled along with her. He looked at her as a blue light seemed to envelope and wash over both of them. Xander looked at Buffy yelling "What did you do?"

_(Okay so this is my starter for a challenge/fic. Anyone who ever seen the Family guy Episode Road To the Multi verse should be some what familiar with multi verse concept. I got this idea today that I am going to write the first chapter but from here out I am giving 100 percent control of Where Buffy and Xander go from here out. I will write them in to any tv show or movie ,commercial infomercial you name it I will do it. There are a lot of shows this concept would lend itself well to. It wouldn't be hard to picture Buffy on Smallville, True Blood, Vampire Diaries et and if that is what you guys want hey I will do it. But I'm hoping for some wacky crazy suggestions. Buffy and Xander end up in Mayberry on the Andy Griffith show or maybe Gone with the wind. I can't promise I will know everything about the suggestions but I kind of think that might be what could make this interesting. I will do some research but it might be a lot of cliche ignorant funny writing. Bonus points for anyone who requests something with a Scooby actor already in it. Like what if Buffy got sent to How I met your mother and keeps mistaking Lilly for Willow. Buffy and Xander find Faith as a Cheerleader in bring it on. What ever you got I will do my best. Hope you guys like the concept. So tell me in the reviews where is the first place I am sending them)_


	2. Wayne's World

Xander felt his world spinning around him and felt like he was going to fall over. The light that surrounded him was practically blinding. When he was finally able to open his eyes the truck was gone and Buffy stood buy his side. "What the hell was that?"

Buffy just as confused still held the iPod looking device in her hand. "I I I don't know. I just pushed a button to play some music and bam."

Xander looked around him and noticed this was most certainly not home. "Where are we?"

Buffy searched the surroundings around her. Half the people were either brunettes with mullets wearing ripped jeans and a black shirt with a black baseball cap. The other half were blondes with mullets in blue plaid shirts a heavy metal shirt underneath jeans and glasses. Buffy just looked confused. "I'm not sure where we are but." She shook her head and looked at the iPod in her hand. She read the mini screen on the device "Okay it says this is a world built and based around the ideals and beliefs of Wayne's world."

"Wayne's world? You mean like that Saturday night live skit? This is a bad joke right."

"I'm still trying to figure out how we go from driving down the road in your truck to a this world." Xander pointed his finger at her. "You had to play with things."

"I thought it was an iPod."

"Do you hear any music playing?"

"Xander relax let's just calm down." Buffy looked around half of the stores were either donut shops, guitar stores or record stores." She pointed to a gas station. "Let's go there and see if we can find some answers."

"Answers?"

"You now in a news paper or something?'

Xander sighed stepping in front of her. As they walked down the street among the sea of Wayne's and Garth's they turned quite a few heads. Buffy was dressed in a red top with some tan capri pants. Xander was in a simple polo with plaid shorts. In a world where everyone dressed ike one of two people they stuck out like sore thumbs. As they walked in to the store the Wayne working behind the counter greeted them with the typical greeting. "Welcome to Gas and Garth party on Customer."

Xander just entered with a smile and looked at the cashier. "Thanks."

Suddenly the store froze. Everyone in the store turned looking at Xander as if he was speaking a language they never heard? The Wayne inspired cashier quickly came around the counter.

He locked eyes with Xander. "I said Party on."

Xander looked confused. "Yeah and I said He"

Buffy quickly jumpsted in front of Xander. "Party on"

Just then the Janitor Dressed like Garth looked at the two of them. "What's with the costumes. I mean it's not Halloween."

Xander went to the newspaper picking it up reading. Buffy just answered the question. "You see it's complicated."

An Alice Cooper music video was playing on the 3 tv's in the store. The Wayne stepped closer looking at Buffy suspiciously. "Yeah we totally believe your intentions are good and pure and aren't lying at all. NOT.!."

Xander spun around coming up with an idea. "Guys the reason we are dressed this way is cause we are Rock stars?"

Everyone turned around looking at them in shock. Buffy inched closer to Xander whispering. "What are you doing?"

Xander quickly turned Buffy around behind down whispering pointing to the newspaper. "The only people who don't dress like Wayne or Garth are Rockstarts Buffy."

Just than a female Garth picking up a bag of chips looked at Xander flirtatiously. "So what is your groups name."

Buffy just blurted it out. "Uhm Slayer."

The cashier looked at Buffy. "You two are with Slayer?" Suddenly everyone in the store dropped to there knees bowing up and down to them. "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" The chant went on through out the store.

Xander looked at Buffy "Maybe you should find that little iPod dohickey and see about getting us out of here."

Buffy nodding taking it out and read the screen. She whispered. "It says it's charging."

Suddenly a 90 year old Wayne looked at Xander and Buffy. "The day those two play with Slayer Monkey's will fly out of my butt."

The old man grabbed his walker and made his way to the front of the store. He picked up a magazine off the rack. All of the magazines were rock and roll magazines. He quickly flipped to a cover story with the 80's band slayer. He held it up. "Which one of those guys are you?"

Buffy inched back and toward the door. "Uhm ya see it's like this."

The female Garth looked at Xander "You lied to us. Not cool man. Really not cool."

Xander nodded "Yeah we are just going to go."

Suddenly the cashier held up a sign. "Top 10 reasons you posers need to get out of my store"

Xander held his hand up in a time out. "Where the hell did you get that sign?"

Buffy looked at Xander. "Don't agitate them?"

"I'm serious Buffy. We just walked in here 2 minutes ago and some how they have sign made up specifically just for us."

Just than a fleet of blue AMC's pacers pulled up outside of the gas station. The cars had flames on the side. Unlike all the other pacers that everyone drove these had siren and lights on them. The cashier looked at Buffy and Xander. "We don't normally do this but since the police are here we will skip ahead to the number 1 answer. He pulled the black tab revealing the answer. "And the number one reason you two posers should get out of our store is that we are going to kill you."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Pshaw right. In your dreams?"

The Janitor Garth said "In your dreams."

Cashier Wayne smiled. "Exactly!" They than started making weird noise with there mouth and than waved there hands up and down this wash' done by just them but everyone in the store. Suddenly they got a glazed off far off look in there eyes. They were all trapped in a day dream where they were killing Xander and Buffy."

"I think it's time to go Buff"

Buffy turned pushing through the crowd blocking the door knocking them down and running. Xander followed the lead running as fast as he could. Buffy grabbed Xander's hand pulling him faster. As she did so she pushed the button on the device and the familiar blue light surrounded both of them again.

They stopped suddenly in their tracks. Xander looked around "Where are we? Are we home?'

Buffy heard a groan from behind them. Both of them spun around to see Zombies slowly making there way to them. "This doesn't look like Home Xander."


	3. The Walking Dead

"This doesn't look like home Xander."

Xander sighed looking at the horde of slow moving Zombies inching towards them. "So Zombies? I mean we don't see a lot of Zombies."

"Usually it's just vampires or demons" She looked around for anything she could use as a weapon. "So quick refresher how do you kill a zombie?"

"Kill the brain kill the zombie. Don't get bit. That pretty much is that. Who says that all those George Romero movies don't pay off."

Buffy eyed the zombies and suddenly realized there were a lot more than she thought. "Maybe the best plan is to run."

"Where?"

Buffy shrugged turned around and ran for the clearing in to the woods. Xander did his best to keep up. He was faster than most people and could run good but he was no match for Buffy. That being said Buffy kept an eye on him to keep him safe. The zombies for the most part were violent and mostly just creatures of instinct they didn't have brains left so instinct was all they had to guide them. They ran for minutes until Buffy came to a clearing. As they came out of the woods they saw houses. Most of them were boarded up but Buffy figured maybe one of them could offer shelter to figure things out.

Buffy ran to the house quickly knocking on the door. When no one answered she reached for the door knob only to find it locked. "Screw it." One swift kick and she ran in. Xander followed shortly behind her and slammed the door shut. "This most definitely is not Sunnydale Buffy."

"Kind of figured that one."

"Well get the thing You know push the button and you get us out of here."

Buffy quickly pulled it out of her pocket. "Okay first off it says it is charging. We can press it again in 15 hours 33 minutes 12 seconds."

Xander sighed shaking his head. "This is insane. Where the hell are we?"

Buffy held up the screen to his face. "All it says is land of the walkers."

"Walkers? Like Chuck Norris Texas Ranger?"

"Well I don't think they mean the kind old people in nursing home use."

"So they aren't Zombies? They are Walkers." He sighed and shook his head. "That's stupid."

"You can call them a cheeseburger for all I care. I just want to go home."

Xander nodded "Okay so how about this. We hang out here. We lay low and in 15 hours we hopefully can go home."

Buffy just nodded. "That's a good idea." Xander turned his back to her and started towards the kitchen."Where are you going?"

"I'm hungry Buffy. I want to see what they got to eat here."

Buffy was about to argue but realized a bite to eat might make her feel better. Xander opened the fridge and smell of rotting meat and food made him want to yak. He quickly slammed the door shut. "Oh God that is awful."

"So I am thinking the power has been off a while."

Xander looked to the cabinets. There was a few cans of food inside. "I got some peanut butter, a jar of olives some powdered milk and great big can of choc" Before he could finish the back door from the kitchen opened. Before Xander could muster up a cuss word he saw a barrel of a gun in his face. Holding the gun was a very angry dangerous man. He looked like a biker. He smelled like he hadn't showered in months. He had a dangerous look behind his eyes. It was the look that said I have nothing to lose and I will kill to get what I want.

Buffy didn't know who he was and she didn't care. Not waiting for an answer Buffy just reacted. A round house kick sent the gun across the room. The biker looked at her. "You are going to pay for that pretty."

Buffy rolled her eyes at the idle threat. Before he could charge her Buffy kicked the back of his knee sending him to the ground. Xander quickly put him in a head lock doing all he could to restrain him. Buffy just looked at Xander. "You got him?" Xander nodded. Buffy looked him the eye. "Look if this is your house I'm sorry we are just looking for a place to lay low and."

The man cursed at her. "This ain't no ones house not any more. But once me and my boys find some thing we like we take it."

Xander tightened the headlock for emphasis. "Well we were here first so I think that makes this ours."

Buffy looked at the man. "I don't want to hurt you but I'll defend myself." Buffy crossed the room picking up his gun. "You won't be getting this back." She looked at Xander "Let him go."

Xander released his grip and stepped back. "You can have this place tomorrow I don't care. We just need it for a little while."

He stood up and looked at Xander and than Buffy. "It's fine I don't need that gun. Ya see and my boys we are looking for a place to crash. We have a code and rules about taking things that don't belong to you. So maybe I'll bring my boys back and we'll get that gun than."

Xander leaned against the counter. "Can I be there when you tell your friends that a little girl took the gun from you."

The man realized he was right. It would not only be humiliating but it would possibly be grounds for execution. "Fine This place is too small for me anyways." He turned around walking out He decided it would be better if he said he lost the gun when he slipped falling in the river.

Buffy and Xander watched as he walked out the door and eventually out of sight. Buffy looked at him. "I don't trust him. He might come back with his friends."

"He might but I doubt it. His egos wounded and a guy like that doesn't want anyone knowing what happened so better to take the ass kicking and pretend it never happened."

"You sure?'

"No but for now we will just keep watch if they come back we" Suddenly he heard a thump from up the stairs. "I think someone might be here."

Buffy stepped in front of him "I'll check it out."

"Maybe just once we could not explore the creepy noise,"

As Buffy made her way up the stairs she opened the door, There were a series of doors and she opened the first to find a bathroom. She made her way deeper down the hall Xander sticking close to her side. As she opened the bedroom door a walker lunged at her trying to bite her. A simple punch sent the zombie flying back against the wall. She quickly pulled the door shut. She turned to Xander "Okay we won't be going in to that room."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Come on can't we have 2 minutes of rest."

"Calm down Xander. Let's just relax. LIke you said we will wait out the 15 hours and." Buffy stopped as she heard the clicking of feet on pavement. She ran to the window at the end of the hall and saw someone walking towards the house. Xander stood over her looking out the window.

"Did you hear something."

"Shhh Xander I think."

That's when he came in to view. The boy couldn't have been more then 13 or 14. Although Buffy didn't deem him a threat he was carrying a gun. She whispered to Xander "What the hell kind of world has someone that age on there own packing a gun."

As the boy approached the house the two scurried looking for anywhere to hide. They weren't afraid of the kid but maybe a little non confrontation would be the way to go. After all when the time was up they could go. Buffy pulled Xander into the linen closet and Xander stood there waiting.

Xander looked at Buffy. "Oh God the closet?"

Buffy just whispered. "What?"

He whispered back. "Nothing it just reminds me of Cordy."

They watched through the slats in the door. They could hear the boy looking through the house. He was looking for supplies or weapons or anything. He moved from one room to the next. This went on for almost 20 minutes. Finally Buffy watched as he reached for the doorknob. She wanted to warn him about not opening the door but it was to late. The zombie lunged at him.

Buffy just whispered to Xander. "We should help."

Xander nodded. "If we do though he will know we are here"

Buffy bit her lip reaching for the doorknob. The boy was putting up a good fight but it looked like the zombie was winning. She turned the knob but stopped as she heard the groaning of the zombie stop. The boy some how managed to trap him back in the room. Buffy backed up from the door and let go of the knob. "I think he's okay."

Xander looked at the boy and suddenly saw what he was carrying. "He has the chocolate pudding."

Buffy shrugged. "So?"

Xander whispered. "I was going to eat that."

"Oh come on that kid needs it more than us. We can eat soon but that kid looks like."

Xander put his finger up to his lips. "Shhh for a second. I think." He opened the door a crack to peak out. He turned to Buffy "Come on. Let's make a break for it."

"But the kid?"

"Is sitting out on the roof with a giant can of chocolate pudding. Now is our chance."

They made there way out the back door and left the house unseen. Buffy again led the way. They headed in to the woods this time from the other side."Stay close Xander?"

"So why are we going back in to the woods?"

"We could go try to find another empty house but the thing is the longer we are here the more likely we are to be found, Let's just find a cave or a clearing or anything where we can wait this out."

"Sounds fine with me. Lead the way."

They walked for 25 minutes when Xander stopped in his tracks. "Stop Buffy. I think I hear something."

Buffy rolled her eyes "Oh come on what do you" But suddenly she heard it. Buffy quickly scanned the area and knew the only chance at hiding was in the trees. "We are going up."

"Up?"

Buffy jumped straight up grabbing a branch. She quickly pulled herself up than dangled down just enough leave her hand to Xander. "Come on I'll pull you up." Xander sighed and lunged for her hand. Between her strength and his strength they were both on the branch shortly. They climbed a little higher where the brush was thicker. At first the group that came out was unfamiliar. One voice stuck out. It was the man from earlier in the day in the house. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't travel alone. Buffy eye balled one of the members of the group. Buffy whispered to herself "Rack?"

Xander looked at her confused he just mouthed "What?"

She whispered. "The leader of the group he just looks like the Magic Dealer that Willow used too."

Xander shook his head "Buffy focus."

The two of them just hid in the trees listening careful not to be seen.

"Listen Joe it's not my fault."

Joe the leader turned to Buffy and Xander's former assilant. "So let me get this straight. You lost your gun. You set it down some where and can't remember where and now you want my help."

"Well Joe it's just that."

He put his hands up looking him in the eyes. "You know the rule. If you want something. You have to claim it. Now are you claiming one of my sidearms."

The man stuttered "Well not claiming I just thought you have a couple and if"

"It's a simple yes or no question. Are you claiming my sidearm?"

The man shook his head "No I am not claiming your side arm."

Joe pushed past the man and called out to the rest of the marauders. "We are losing daylight. We need to find some where to stay and we need to find it now."

Buffy just watched on. When they had left the camp she looked at Xander "Come on they are gone."

They climbed to the branches and made there way to the ground. Xander shook his head. "Damn and I thought Sunnydale sucked. It is every man for himself here."

"This place does seem to play by it's own rules." She pointed "Come on I think I saw a cave while we were up in the tree. We can rest. I'll sleep and you can take the next few hours watch and than we can switch."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Sleep. Right cause I can cozy up to the hard cave floor easily."

They made there way in to the cave deep enough they still had a little light but far enough they couldn't be seen.. Xander slid down against the cave wall. He sat on his butt across from Buffy. "So how much time does it say was have left?"

Buffy pulled it out of her pocket and sighed. "12 hour 38 minutes."

"I don't get it the last time it was maybe 15-20 minutes."

Buffy shrugged. "Next time I find a 3 year old with a device to let you jump from one reality to another I will ask them how it works."

Xander sighed "Maybe we should see if there is a back button or home or."

Buffy got up and pushed it in to Xander's hands. "You think you can do a better job with it. Here GO AHEAD."

Xander put the device in his pocket. "Buffy calm down."

"No I won't calm down. We are trapped in the stupid cave with murdering savages out there who will shoot you just to steal the clothes off your back or you can take on the Zombies wait no not Zombies walkers."

"Buffy we are going to be okay."

"Xander stop saying that."

He crossed over to her. "Calm down Buffy."

"How is it that you aren't panicking?"

"Cause you are here."

"What? That makes no sense. You are here because of me. Remember you made that clear with the whole shouldn't have been playing with that thing Buffy. You made it pretty clear this whole thing was my fault."

"Buffy stop. I don't blame you. I mean I did for a fleeting second but I can't be mad at didn't know and the thing does look like an iPod. It is a mistake any of us could have made."

"Fine but it still doesn't change the fact that was are here and you aren't terrified of what's to come next."

"Cause you are here." He stepped behind her rubbing her shoulders."There is nothing team Scooby can't beat."

"Technically team Scooby is missing Dawn, Willow and Giles."

""Oh damn Willow. They are probably eating Birthday cake and drinking booze right now."

"Damn."

"Yeah some cake would be awesome right now."

Xander wen't back to the wall and slid back down sitting on his butt. Buffy sat across from him. He took the device out of his pocket and looked at the timer again. "You know Buffy if you want to try to sleep I'll watch."

Buffy slid down the opposite side of the wall across from Xander. She yawned. "I could close my eyes for a few seconds."

As she closed her eyes she found herself dreaming. The dream was a misty water color mess. It felt safe though cause everyone she loved was there.

A much younger version of Dawn approached her. "You gotta help us. Sunnydale Orphanarium is the only place I call home. Golly miss if the mob succeeds and finds a way to shut us down than all of us will have no where to go."

Buffy wasn't dressed in clothes she'd normally wear. It was like a flak jacket and combat boots. On her face was a pair of mirrored sunglasses. She reached in to her jacket and pulled out a cigar. She put it between her teeth and lit it with a single wooden match she struck from the post of the mail box. She took a few deep puffs from the cigar and looked at Dawn. She took the cigar out of her mouth. "Listen Kid if there is anything I can't stand it's the mob and the only thing worse than the mob is the mob trying to steal an orphanage so we will take the case."

Just than Spike stepped forward. He was dressed in gold chains, a sleeveless shirt and final zipper pants. His golden hair was all gone except for a single mohawk that flowed freely down the center of his head. Spike's head bobbed back and fourth angry, "Don't give me no jibber jabber about mob taking orphan's losing there home to no mob. We going to put a hurting on that mob make them hurt real good. I'm talking dead meat turkey."

Just than Angel stepped forward. He looked like he was ready to go join a yacht club. He was wearing a white jacket with a blue ascot and bright white pants. His hair was quaffed perfectly almost as if glued in place. When he smiled it was like a tooth paste commercial. "What's the plan boss?"

Xander wearing his army commando jacket and baseball cap. spoke up before Buffy could say anything. "I'll tell you the plan. We take Vito Corleone down a notch. We are going to drive them so far out of town. We are going to make them an offer they can't refuse."

Buffy looked to Xander. "Mad dog what do we have for supplies."

Xander quickly opened the back of the van "We got a case of wig dye, a bowling ball cozy, jumper cable cleaner, margarita salt, chicken gloves and 83 VHS copies of Charlie and Chocolate Factory."

Buffy smiled rubbing her chin nodding. "Oh I love it when a plan comes together."

The four of them jumped in to the black van with the red stripe peeling rubber down the street. 52 minutes later, time for commercials included Buffy came back with the mob boss strapped to the top of the van. He was screaming. "Please let me go. I won't turn bother no Orphan's I'll find a new place for my casino."

Spike jumped out of the van. "Darn right fool. You don't want to get on B.A bad side fool. I pity the fool who messing with Orphans."

Dawn ran up to Buffy hugging her. "You did it. Thank you A Team."

Suddenly Buffy looked confused. "A team? Who's the A Team?" Just then she snapped her eyes open and she was back in the cave.

Xander looked at her seeing her jump suddenly. "You alright Buffy."

She pulled her knees up to her chest "Just a really strange dream. You were there and so was Angel and Dawn and Spike. He had a really bad haircut."

"Want to talk about it?'

Buffy shook her head. "How much time?"

"Just a little under 8 hours?"

"Well if you want to sleep Xander. I'll keep watch."

Xander shook his head. "I don't think I can." His stomach growled and Buffy could hear it from across the cave. "You must be hungry,"

"I'll be okay."

Xander reached for his wallet looking for a piece of gum but his fingers brushed across his cell phone. He quickly pulled it out. "I still have my phone,"

"Pretty sure you are out of cell tower range."

Xander looked at it "Maybe I can." He quickly dialed the number hoping to get something but Buffy was right.

She looked at him. "Sorry."

"Should of paid the extra 2 bucks a month and signed up for the trans dimensional coverage plan."

"I wonder what is going on back in Sunnyd" Suddenly they heard a ruckus coming from outside. "Something is going on Xander"

The two of them ran to the edge of the cave and peered outside There was 4 walkers on the south edge of the graveyard 2 on the East and 2 on the west. In the middle of all of it was a single African American woman. Buffy sighed "Xander you stay here I'm going to help."

Xander rolled his eyes and looked for a weapon. All he could find was a big rock. Xander charged in to battle Buffy sighed "You never listen."

Buffy ran ahead of him. She did flying tiger kick taking out the first walker. Xander ran around the side and smashed the rock on top of the skull of the next. Buffy looked around when the woman they came to defend suddenly drew her swords. She lunged at the Walkers chopping off the head of the first one. The next one she lopped off it arm and kicked it to the ground skull stomping it. The woman was a fury of blood and violence. Buffy went to help her but she didn't seem to need much help.

Xander whispered. "You think she's a slayer?"

Buffy shrugged "No idea"

Just as one of the Walkers were about to swarm Xander and Buffy stepped to her side. The woman looked at the two of them. "Who the hell are you two?'

Buffy round house kicked a walker that charged sending it to the ground. "Oh you know Zombiebusters. Who ya gonna call?" The woman took her sword running it through the back of the head of the walker Buffy just killed. "Zombie what the hell is a zombie."

Xander laughed. "Oh right you call them Walkers here."

The woman yelled cutting off another head. "I'm doing just fine. I don't need your help."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Some welcome you are."

Just than Xander saw the gun Buffy claimed earlier that morning sticking out the back of her pants. Xander quickly grabbed it. He pointed the gun at the closest Walker. The strangers eyes went wide as she saw the gun. "NO."

But it was to late Xander squeezed the trigger shooting the last 3 walkers dropping them on the spot. "See that wasn't so hard."

The woman yelled "YOU IDIOT. They are attracted to SOUND." Suddenly the forrest was getting converged as more than they could deal with showed up around them.

Buffy took the gun throwing it away. "I told you these things never do any good. Now we run." Buffy took off leading the way. Xander was close behind her as the woman followed him. They ran for what seemed like forever. They ran through the bushes and trees of the forrest hoping the hard terrain might be enough to keep them at bay. As they came out of the forrest they ran back to what looked like the residential area they arrived in. They had a lost a lot of the walker but some had stayed on there tail.

Buffy scanned the area quickly looking for anywhere they could hide. Where ever they were now was once a gated community. You could see the fences and posts. and big security fence. Buffy charged the wall scaling it quickly. Once got to the top she leaned down giving her hand to Xander heaping to pull him up and than the stranger. As they both hopped over to the other side they heard the Walkers run in to the wall and fall down.

Fortunately for them the wall would be high enough to keep the walkers in place. Once they had got enough distance from the wall Buffy slowed her pace and looked at Xander. "You alright."

Xander nodded. "I'm fine." He looked at the stranger. "I'm sorry about the gun I didn't know."

She rolled her eyes "You two ain't from around here."

Buffy looked at her. "How can you tell?"

She looked at Xander. "You both smell like soap and water. Your clothes are snuggle fresh and in this world that means something."

Buffy nodded. "It's complicated but yes you are right. We are not from here. My names Buffy and this is."

Xander put his hand up "I'm Xander."

"Well this isn't the Mickey Mouse club so I don't remember a sign in portion."

Xander just laughed. "You are all kinds of personable."

She looked at him. "You can call me Michonne."

Buffy smiled at her. "That's a pretty name."

She glared at her. "Listen I don't know you two are or where your from and I don't care. I am not a baby sitter so you two need to find your way back to where ever the hell it is you came from."

Buffy stepped in front of her angry now. "Look we were trying to help you. We were both just lying low watching the clock and waiting for"

Michonne tilted her head "Waiting for?"

Buffy crossed her arms. "Let's just call it our bus. Now our bus wasn't here yet so we were trying to just pass the time. When we heard your little skirmish. We were trying to help. Granted Xander shooting the gun wasn't the best move but he was trying to help and we both had the best of intentions."

Michonne rolled her eyes looking past her. "Fine. When does this bus arrive?"

Xander just looked at her. "Soon. We should be gone before breakfast."

Michonne looked at him. "I know an old hospital near by. I want to look for supplies. You two can hold up there if you want."

Buffy nodded following her lead. 5 minutes had passed on the walk when Buffy asked. "Hey how did this happen?"

Michonne just kept walking. "What is this?"

Buffy looked at her. "The whole Walker thing. I mean have they always been here?"

Michonne looked on at her just confused. "You really don't know what's going on.

Xander interjected this time. "Where is the government. The military or anyone at all with authority."

Michonne just kept on forward. "In this world authority comes from the end of a sword or gun."

They walked for another half hour finally they came upon a small medical clinic. It wasn't the hospital she said but it might make a decent shelter. In it's time it was a simple walk up clinic. The kind of place you would go if you had a cold or needed a flu shot. Xander approached the door pushing it only to find it locked.

"I think it's locked." Michonne took out a baseball bat and smashed the plate glass door. As she cleared the glass out she stepped inside. Xander followed her in the clinic. "I guess that could work."

Buffy was keeping up the rear and walked in "What are you looking for?"

Michonne walked in to the clinic waiting room. "Medical supplies, anything I can pack and use."

Buffy nodded and looked around "We can help you look around for." Suddenly she was interrupted by a giddy Xander.

"Ooooh a candy machine and there is a candy bar left." He looked at Buffy. "You got a buck." Michonne rolled her eyes again. "Wait I think I know this one." Xander picked up a chair from the lobby and tossed it in to the machine smashing the glass.

Michonne just smirked. "You are starting to understand."

Xander reached in quickly grabbing the candy bar. Buffy grumbled as Xander put his hands on it. Michonne was in much more need of food and Xander and Buffy might not have the same difficulty finding food where ever they end up next. She coughed and kept gesturing with her head as if to say give it to her. Xander looked at the candy bar and suddenly got it. "You know Michonne I'm not really big on this kind of candy. If you want it."

Michonne stepped to him. "You know you don't have to do that. You found it and you earned it so you should have it."

Xander shook his head. "The idea of a world where we don't share or show kindness all in the name of survival I don't think that works for me."

She sighed "Maybe I know a little boy who likes chocolate. He would be very appreciative." Xander held the candy bar out she took it and placed it in her pack.

With that the 3 of them split up and went in to the patient rooms. The rooms were dark with out electricity but there was a little visible light. Between the 3 of them they managed to scrape together some bandages a a few sample packs of some antibiotics and ointments. It was what Buffy found in the supply room that seemed valuable. A simple hospital bed that was probably used to keep people comfortable during simple procedures.

Xander and Michonne were in the staff lounge. Xander opened the fridge and the smell almost made him gag. As he opened it and the smell wafted to his nostrils he quickly slammed it shut. He ran to the trash can dry heaving over it. Xander was fortunate that he didn't have any food in his stomach.

Michonne just shook her head laughing. "I learned early on you don't ever open the fridge. You aint' going to get anything in there anyways." Xander turned back to the cabinets looking for anything useable. Michonne was going through a purse that was left behind from one of the nurses. She emptied looking for anything useful at all. Xander joined her looking through the purse. Michonne had made a pile of useable and throw away. In throw away pile was make up a wallet, cell phone.

Xander picked up the wallet and looked through it. Inside was money, pictures, insurance card. Xander pulled out the pictures of the nurse she was playing with what he assumed was her son. "Man this sort of stuff just breaks your heart."

"That's why I stopped looking in wallets a long time ago."

He understood why she had to be so hard. "There is some money in here if you want it."

She laughed and shocked her head. "In this world all that is good for is burning." She looked up at him. "Anything in the cabinets?"

"A few bottled waters, some canned beeferoni and cheese whiz."

"We can split it up."

Buffy overheard her as she came in the room. "You can have it. All of it. Like I said we aren't really staying."

Michonne backed up from them. "I think I get it now."

Xander looked confused. "You do?"

Michonne turned to Buffy."Yeah this world is hard and rough and sucks but don't make no sense to just kill yourself. You fight with everything you have."

Buffy stepped to her. "We aren't killing ourselves."

"You are talking about catching a bus leaving this place. You aren't packing any food or thinking about your future. You tell me what all of that adds up too."

Xander opened his mouth. "It's not like that. We are going some where but it's not some where that we have to worry about walkers."

She yelled "No such place exists."

Buffy looked at her. "You've been more than kind to us and we thank you for that but please trust us when we say we are going to be okay."

Michonne sighed going to the counter and packed up the last of the supplies. "I should go."

Buffy stopped her. "You have to be tired. I think I found something you could use."

Michonne looked skeptically. "What would you know about what I need."

Buffy stepped out of the room. "Just follow me." She led her to the bed she found. "You have to be tired. You travel alone so I imagine you probably don't sleep well."

"I'm fine."

Xander stepped to her. "You've helped us. Let us just do one thing for you. Get some rest. We can watch over make sure no walkers or other wise disturbs you."

Michonne opened her mouth to object but on some level they were right. Having to sleep constantly on watch sucked. She hadn't been able to just let go and rest in forever. She looked at the two of them. "Fine. Maybe I could rest for a little while."

Buffy grabbed a clean blanket and pillow from the supply closet. "I promise you we will keep the room safe. Just let yourself sleep."

Michonne took off her back pack and dropped her sword from her side. She looked at the bed and pulled herself up. She laid her head on the pillow and Xander and Buffy once again kept watch. At first Michonne was reluctant to let someone watch over her. Even as she closed her eyes she found herself listening for trouble. Maybe it was the comfy bed or the pillow or maybe it was just that she been fighting for so long she needed to let go but she slept. True to there word Buffy and Xander watched over her. Hours after hour after hour had passed when Buffy finally looked to Xander.

"What does the timer say?"

"It was ready to go an hour ago. We'll leave after she wakes up."

"Xander what would you think if."

"Buffy we can't"

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"Yes I do. I know because I thought the same thing. You were thinking of taking her with us."

"Well it's so terrible here and."

"And this is her world. She wouldn't belong anywhere else. Just like we don't belong here. Buffy we have to get home. The real home. As bad as this place is it is her home."

Buffy sighed. "I guess you are right."

Just than Michonne yawned and stretched. For a second she forgot how truly shitty the world outside was. It was like she was waking up in her own bed. As she started to wake though all of it came back to her. She snapped up quickly afraid. She hadn't slept like that in a long time and felt vulnerable.

Xander saw her quickly sit up. "It's okay. We are still here."

Michonne nodded and quickly threw her legs over the side. "I think I need to go."

Buffy pulled herself up off the floor. "We were about to say the same."

Michonne looked at him. "I was talking about seeing how bad the bathroom is here."

Xander laughed "Well I think we are going to head out."

Michonne looked at the two of them. "Well where ever it is you are going I hope you find what you are looking for."

Buffy nodded. "Same to you."

With that Michonne put on her backpack and put her sword back on. She looked around the halls and found a bathroom. Once inside Buffy looked at Xander. "It's time."

Xander just took out the device and grabbed Buffy's hand. He pushed the button on it and they were pulled away.

The light surrounded them and once again they were pulled away. This time Buffy and Xander were in a house. Who ever lived there it was clearly a man. There was a hawaiian strewn on the Furniture and a Detroit tigers baseball on the floor. A half eaten plate of food was left out. Xander whispered. "Where do you think we are?"

"Well from the way house cleaning is done I'd guess your place."

Xander rolled his eyes "Very Funny I clean my place. I'll have you know I." But he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and footsteps behind him.

Suddenly a man with a ten pound mustache and red Hawaiian shirt and nut hugger shorts held the gun on both him and Buffy. "Who the hell are you people and what are you doing in my house."

Buffy just stood there a gasp her mouth open not sure what to say. "Ya see it's like the hum we were." She bit her lip trying to think of something. "I ah. Xander you got anything."

Xander was trembling in anticipation, "Your Magnum Fricking P.I ! I LOVE YOU."


	4. Xander PI

Xander had his biggest fan boy smile and was practically giddy as he squealed. "Your Magnum Fricking PI."

Magnum still holding his gun on them. "Okay so you know who I am. That doesn't tell me anything about you two."

Buffy knew nothing about the 80's tv detective but looked at Xander. "Uhm ya see we are here cause Uhm.

Xander cut her off. "This is Buffy Masters."

Magnum looked at her skeptically. "Masters?"

"Yes Robin Masters is her Uncle."

Magnum was smart enough to see through an obvious lie but figured he'd let them play the game. He paced to Buffy his face practically in hers. "It's funny I never knew he had a niece much less a sister."

Buffy laughed nervous. "Well you know uncle Robert."

Xander nudged her side. "Robin."

Buffy quickly picked it up. "Uncle Robin doesn't really like to talk about his family."

Xander stepped in for Buffy. "I'm not sure you know Mister Masters but he's an incredibly private man and doesn't speak of himself often."

Magnum crossed his arms. "Okay I'll play along. If she is the niece who are you?"

Not missing a beat Xander crossed his arms. "I've been hired to keep her safe. Her uncle wants her to lie low. Originally we were going to hide out in his Italian Vila but this location was deemed safer."

Magnum looked at the two of them still skeptical. "That still doesn't explain why you are in the guest house. Shouldn't all of this been arranged with.' Xander interrupted taking a long shot. "Well we actually went to the estate and I was hoping to connect with a Mister Higgins but when we knocked on the door no one answered. So we walked the estate and this was the first open door we found.

Magnum looked at the two of them still not buying it. "I'm going to find Higgins and straighten this out."

Xander nodded "Sounds good we'll be on the beach. Some fresh air would be nice anyways."

Buffy and Xander walked out the front door and towards the front door. Buffy looked at Xander whispering once they were far enough away. "What the hell was all that?"

"Buffy that guy is Magnum PI."

"But that was a tv show I mean a bad 80's cop show."

Xander clenched his jaw un nerved. "First off Magnum was a Private Investigator not a cop hence the name Magnum PI. Secondly the only thing bad about the show was how bad ass it was."

"I've never seen this side to you before. You were a Magnum PI fan?"

"Willow had Doogie Howser and I had Magnum PI."

"Like doesn't seem to emphasize what you feel. I am sensing a little bit of a man crush here Xander."

Xander turned around putting his hands up. "Growing up Buffy my life wasn't always picture perfect. I mean my folks sucked and Magnum was my escape. Life might have sucked and trust me it did but for one hour each week I could escape. I could forget about my own problems and sit down and escape. Magnum might be silly to you but to me it meant a lot."

Buffy put her hands up. "Hey no judgement here. I mean if you were to look through my past you might find a few things you'd think would be weird."

"Like?"

"Focus Xander. Right now our mustached friend is going to check our back story and when he finds out we were lying." Buffy sighed. "Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe we can leave. Check the thingy."

"First off I think we will be safe if I remember the show correctly Higgins did his morning meditation in the East Lawn so we might have a chance at him saying he didn't hear the knock at the door."

"But what about this Master guy. I mean all they have to do is call him up."

"Robin Masters was never seen in the show. He was known as a bit of a recluse who sent the occasional order but for the most part Magnum and Higgins didn't have a lot of contact with him."

Buffy turned to the sky line. The beach was beautiful and ocean air reminded her of paradise. "Well I have to say I am not against whole Hawaiian island location."

Xander got his biggest fan boy grin. "I think I want to go to Rick's bar and get a drink."

"Who's Rick?"

"And maybe T.C can take us up in his Helicopter."

"Who is T.C Xander."

"Sorry Buffy I am just caught up in all of this."

"Xander you still didn't tell me how much time till we can leave."

The idea of leaving till Xander saw everything he wanted to see blew his mind but still he humored Buffy and looked at the screen. It simply read Magnum PI "2 hours" He sounded a little disappointed. "But that doesn't mean we have to leave in 2 hours I mean we could check around a bit and leave when."

"Xander I want to go home. People have to be worried by now."

He nodded "Yeah I guess you are right."

Just than they heard shots ring out from the estate. Buffy looked at the house. "That doesn't sound good." Buffy started running as fast as she could toward the sound with Xander close behind. They ran in the entrance finding Magnum lying on the ground bleeding from the shoulder. Buffy stood over him. "Xander call 911"

Xander ran in to the phone calling. Magnum was weak and barely able to stay awake. He looked at Buffy. "Have to help Higgins."

Buffy pressed her hand to his shoulder. "You should relax."

"Some thugs were in here and took him. They will kill him if I don't help."

"We will make sure to help him."

Unable to speak anymore he passed out. Xander came running in. "The ambulance is on the way."

Buffy held her hand to Magnums wound. He was still passed out and bleeding. "He said someone took Higgley."

"It's Higgins Buffy."

"What ever." Buffy sighed "He wanted to go after him but he was too weak. We have to tell the police." Just than the sound of screeching tires could be heard as the thugs peeled out the drive way wanting to put as much distance between the estate as possible. Xander turned his head seeing the van. "Xander are you listening? We have to call the police."

Xander shook his head. "No. I have to do it. I have to be Magnum." A smile spread on his face.

"You are insane."

"I can do this?"

"Xander this isn't a tv show."

"Stay with him till the paramedics arrive."

"DON"T You do it Xander."

Before she could stop him he ran out the door and in to the garage. It was parked in the garage and it was like the Ark of the covenant to him. The Ferrari 308 GTS was in front of him with all of it's look at me glory. Xander grabbed they keys out of the cabinet and .quickly pressed the garage door button. He flung the door open ready to jump in the front seat but stopped as he saw Thomas Magnum famous Detroit Tigers baseball cap. Xander smiled putting it on. He roared the engine and peeled out down the driveway.

The van had a decent head start on him but it was no match for the speed of the Ferrari Fortunately for him the road didn't fork for at least five miles which meant they had to of turned left. As he stepped on the gas feeling the engine roar underneath his foot one song was going through his head. He was humming it out loud as he drove. It was the the opening theme to Magnum PI.

He knew Buffy was right. Fictional or not this situation could be very dangerous. If these guys could take out Magnum what chance did he have against them. To his 10 year old self though this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

As fast as the Ferrari was with the head start the thugs had Xander was starting to lose hope. Finally he saw the van. The driver of the van was the first to see the Ferrari. Higgins was tied up in the back bound and gagged. One of the thugs watched him from the back making sure he didn't get loose. The driver yelled. "I think we got company. There is a red car chasing us."

The thug holding a gun on Higgins barked "It's gotta be that Magnum guy. Lose him."

"But i thought you shot him. I thought he was down for the count."

Xander searched the car for anything he could use that might help take the van out. He opened the glove box to find the famous holster and gun. Again Xander looked at it with such reverence. He kept one hand on the wheel and one hand cradled the gun. Other than some basic soldier memories Xander wasn't experienced with a gun. He tried to focus on driving. He pulled in to the oncoming traffic lane and pulled along side the van. He held gun in place his hand shaking. Suddenly a horn blared at him as an oncoming truck going the opposite direction speeded towards him. He quickly slammed on the brakes as he did so the gun jerked in his hand and the only bullet that was in the gun fired. It's ricocheted off the ground and bounced hitting the undercarriage of the van. He quickly pulled behind the van looking for the opportunity to pass. The traffic on the on coming lane was to fast and thick and the best he could do was follow.

As fast as the Ferrari was it seemed like van was going at a crawl. Than the crawl changed to a stop. Xander stopped wondering what the hell was going on. Xander put the car in park and grabbed the gun. He jumped out of the Ferrari and picked up the empty gun.

Just then the back cargo doors of the van flung open. One of the thugs had Higgins tied up and a gun to his head. "JUST BACK OFF. I"ll kill him I swear I'll kill him."

Xander raised the empty gun hoping to use it as a bluff. "You kill him I kill you."

Just than the van driver jumped out of the van. "It's two on one man. You can't win." The van driver jumping out the door provided just the distraction needed as Higgins thrust his head backwards. The back of his skull came crashing in to the thugs skull breaking his nose instantly. The sudden pain made him drop the gun and Xander dove for it quickly taking it from him.

Xander yelled holding the gun on him. "Freeze Dirtbag."

The two thugs put there hands up as commanded. Xander inched closer to Higgins. He kept the gun on them with one hands and untied Higgins with the other. As Higgins hands were freed he took the toe off his mouth and untied his own legs.

The older British man reminded him a bit of Giles. He looked at Xander. "Well who ever you are son thank you for the assistance. I feel I am indebted to you and am lucky you came along."

Xander nodded. "Who are these guys?"

Higgins took the loaded gun from Xander. "I was listening to them in the van. They assumed I was Robin Masters and I could be ransomed for millions. They are simple minded brainless thugs I would assume."

Xander laughed "I always had this theory that you were secretly Robin Masters."

Higgins looked him confused. "Why do I have this feeling that you know more of I than I know you."

Xander ignored the question fortunately for them a police officer was passing by just than. With in 15 minutes the crime scene was taped off and the two thugs were in the back of the police car. Higgins was explaining everything to the authorities. Xander stood in the back ground. Buffy arrived in a patrol car a few minutes later. She jumped out and practically tackled Xander in a hug.

"Are you stupid or something Xander."

Xander smiled "Come on Buffy. I got to be Magnum. You can't tell me that's not awesome."

Buffy just snatched the hat off his head. "I like you better as Xander." She sighed "Can we get out of here yet."

Xander pulled the device out of his pocket and looked at the time frame. "Just a few minutes left. How is Magnum doing?"

"They loaded him in the ambulance and I told the police what happened."

"Guess that explains how they showed up so fast."

"Well that and the fact that it's an 80's cop show. I mean all of the little things no one ever questions always some how manage to work out."

"It truly is a beautiful world." The police officers who had been talking with Higgins had gotten everything they needed from him.

He came over to Buffy. "I understand you are the one to take care of Thomas."

"Well I stayed with him till he was loaded in the ambulance."

Higgins nodded. "Well I just got word from the hospital it was a flesh wound and he will make a full recovery."

Buffy nodded "That is excellent."

Xander scratched his chin. "There is just one thing that I can't figure out?"

Buffy looked to him. "What's wrong?"

Xander bit his lip trying to think. "Well those guys were speeding down the highway and than for no reason they just stopped. I mean why would they stop."

Higgins stepped to him. "I think I can help you with that answer. The police found a bullet shell on the road and searched the van. You hit the fuel pump making the vehicle useless. I have to say you are an excellent shot."

Buffy laughed. "Xander an excellent shot?"

Higgins was doing the math in his head. "Traveling at high way speeds and the fuel pump completely out of sight. You would have had to been a crack shot to take it out."

"Yep. I am a crack shot."

Buffy whispered "You lucked out on that didn't you."

He just whispered back. "Almost dropped the gun and it went off."

Buffy smiled at Higgins. "Well if there is nothing left I think we have to get going."

Higgins looked at Xander. "There is one last thing." Higgins held out his hands "Keys please."

Xander sighed and reached in to his pocket. He put the Ferrari keys in Higgins hand. "Yeah I guess you'll need that back." Xander suddenly remembered. He took the baseball cap off. "Oh give this back to Magnum."

Higgins shook his head. "You should keep it."

Xander smiled "Really?"

"Thomas leaves those god awful caps around the house. That is one less cap I'll have to put away."

Xander smiled at the souvenir. "Thanks."

Higgins stood firm looking between both of them. "You two are pretending to be something you aren't and I don't know why. I might have called you on it earlier but I feel after all you've done you've earned one pass."

Buffy nodded "Probably for the best."

Higgins looked at the Ferrari. "Can I drop either of you some where."

Xander shook his head. "You should go check on Magnum. We will be fine."

Higgins nodded "Good journey to both of you." With that he got in the car and he was gone.

Buffy looked at Xander. "You ready to go?"

Xander took out the device. "I think so." He held his hand out to Buffy.

"Take us home Xander."

Xander pushed the button and they were gone.

Buffy and Xander were standing on a side walk in front of a store. Xander quickly looked around. "I don't see any Wayne's World wannabes."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "And no Zombies or 80's private detectives."

Xander smiled "Do you think we are home?"

Before she could answer a screaming voice could be heard "GET OUT OF MY WAY."

A skinny mad man was running down the sidewalk waving a gun. He was wearing a black suit and tie with a white undershirt. "GET OUT OF THE WAY." Xander quickly pulled Buffy aside to avoid getting run over by the man.

Just than the inept police force showed up and it was clear why the man was going to get away. All of the police man were dressed like London Bobby's. They were lined up single file chasing the man almost slap stick stile. For some reason they ran in circles a lot. Buffy sighed shaking her head. "Nope not home. This place just looks weird."


	5. Ragini MMS Doggy Hill

_ (I want to start this saying WOW was this hard. I mean I could find a way to make Benny Hill work with Reservoir Dogs but I know nothing about Bollywood. All the things I thought were Bollywood, Slum dog millionaire, Bend it like Beckham, Aren't really Bollywood. I searched through Wikipedia reading so many plot synopsis for Bollywood movies and trying to find the one best that loaned itself to Buffy. Even now I'm not sure I tied it in good enough but this is the best I can do. Anybody curious about the Bollywood movie it's called Ragini MMS. There is also a sequel. Anyways when I started this I said I would take any challenge. I didn't promise it would be fan fiction gold)_

Xander pulled Buffy aside just in time to avoid the man running down the side walk waving the gun. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY." He bellowed. The cops who were chasing him were so inept they stood little to no chance of catching him. Buffy looked at the clothes she was wearing. Gone were the jeans and blouse. In it's place was a long flowing sundress.

Buffy looked at the scene with the London bobby's all running in circles in a single file one behind the other. "Well Toto I don't think we are in Kansas quite the hell did this dress come from?"

Xander looked on at Buffy and shrugged. "I still got my clothes. Something seems very familiar."

"Oh God Xander where are" But before she could finish her question she saw the man with the gun run in to the street. He was suddenly hit by a car driving down the road. He flew up on the windshield making a spiderweb. Angry the man pulled himself up and went to the driver of the car. He pointed the gun in the drivers face. It was an overweight woman. "Get the fuck out of the car."

Buffy shook her head. "Damn it why does trouble always seem to find me."

Xander looked at Buffy. "Maybe you should just let it go."

"You mean like you did with the magnum PI thing." Buffy ran from behind and before he could turn around delivered a round house kick that would make Chuck Norris jealous. Her foot found the back of his head. The man let go of the woman he was trying to pull out of the vehicle and slumped on the ground. Xander rushed to Buffy's side and picked up the dropped gun. The man rolled over and they recognized a familiar face. The man could have been a dead on ringer for Oz.

Xander looked confused. "Oz?"

The unconscious man didn't respond he just laid on the side walk. Buffy looked at Xander "So where are we?"

Xander shook his head and took out the device from his pocket. "Uhm it says." He looked confused. "It Tarintino slash Hill slash Ragini MMS."

"What does the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know? But I think I got part of it figured out." The man looking like Oz started to groan.

He rolled over on his back looking up at Buffy. "Why did you do that you fucking bitch."

Buffy looked shocked. "Where ever we are they sure like to swear a lot."

Xander held the gun up so he could see it. "I wouldn't move if I were you. I believe you are Mister Pink?"

Oz looked on confused. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Buffy looked just as confused. "Shouldn't the cops be here by now."

Xander looked at the cops who were chasing the criminal earlier but now they were being chased by a woman who had her dress ripped off. Xander shrugs. "I don't know about that but I think this is Reservoir Dogs." Xander looked around "At least part of it is."

Oz tried to get up but Buffy kept her foot pinned to his chest. "You just stay there." The car jack victim was still sobbing. Buffy looked to her. "Maybe you should take your car lady and get out of here." The woman still sobbing quickly got back behind the wheel and sped off.

Oz looked at them angry. "You two have fucked with the wrong person. You don't know what you are doing."

Buffy made a face. "Language man. Come on. Yikes do you kiss your mother with that mouth."

Xander muttered. "You ever seen a Tarantino flick?." Buffy ignoring the comment hoisted him up. The skinny short man tried to swing at Buffy but he was clearly no match for the slayer. She caught his fist and applied a minimal amount of pressure. "You are a bad man."

He just howled in pain as Buffy applied more force. "Let go of my hand you stupid bitch."

Buffy ignored his commands and looked at Xander. "See if there is any information in the briefcase he's carrying."

Xander squatted down and picked it up opening it. "Just a fuck load of diamonds."

Buffy looked at Xander "Language Xander Harris."

Xander shrugged "I figured when in Rome."

Buffy shook her head. "Don't even." Finally the inept cops that seemed to be running in circles showed up. Leading the circle of bumbling buffoon police bobby's was Rupert Giles. At least it looked like him. His second in charge was William the Bloody. They seemed like they could be dopplegangers until Giles smiled. Gone was the perfect smile Giles usually had in it's place were yellowed and rotted british teeth. This Giles seemed a lot more cockney and british street slang than the librarian she once knew.

"Oy Willy it looks like this lovely bird ere caught the bad man with gun."

Spike standing behind Giles stepped out and flashed his equally scary smile." "Well ello ello to you me pretty."

Xander tried not to laugh. "You two are bobbys?"

Spike took out his hand cuffs to put them on Oz "Two of the finest to ever come out of Benny Hill Police Academy." He slapped the cuffs on Oz's wrist cuffing him from the front.

Xander pointed to Buffy. "That must be the Hill part."

Spike looked at Xander and briefcase full of diamonds. "You didn't have any ideas on pinching them diamonds for yourself now did ya?"

Xander held the briefcase to him. "Here take them."

Giles took the briefcase and smiled at Buffy a lecherous horn dog smile. "Well we best take this rubbish to the lock up but maybe after you and I could grab a pint."

Buffy quickly covered her mouth trying to stop the gag reflex. "Just go. Please."

Spike took his billy club and used the end to push the top of his cap up. "Been a real pleasure. Give us a bell if you change your mind."

Xander scratched his head. "Give us a bell?"

Buffy whispered "I don't speak British slang how should I know."

Giles and Spike led Oz away. Xander shook his head. "You know he's going to get away from them."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "In 5…. 4….3….2…" and as predicted Oz pushed Spike and William to the ground. With his hands cuffed he quickly bent down picking up the briefcase and took off running again.

Spike and Giles quickly stood up to chase him but as they took off running after him the collided back in to each other and fell on their butt. Xander looked at them and just shook his head. "Should we go after him?"

Buffy shook her head. "We have enough of our own problems. So I get the Tarantino thing but what the hell is Bobby Hill?"

Xander shook his head. "Bobby Hill is Hank Hills son from King of the Hill. But that isn't what we are dealing here. I believe Spike said something about Benny Hill."

"Okay what is Benny Hill?"

"Why do you always look at me to know all of this stuff?"

"So I take it you don't know about Benny Hill?"

He sighed. "I know very little." He closed his eyes trying to remember. "I remember it was a bad british variety show."

"You mean like Monty Python?"

"I don't think it was as well liked."

"Okay so tell me about this variety show."

"I remember that some point in the show they would have almost a parade like chase march with really bad music. Oh and there is something else but it's slipping my mind right now."

"How much time till we can get out of here."

Xander quickly reached for the device in his pocket but a look of panic filled his eyes. "It's gone."

Buffy grabbed him "What are you talking about. It can't be gone. That is our only way home."

"I checked it right before Oz was arrested. I put it back in my pocket and."

"Oh my God he pick pocketed you. He was probably looking for a weapon and took that instead."

"We got to find him Buffy."

Buffy was pacing back and fourth nervous. "Okay Xander you seen Reservoir Dogs how does the movie end."

Xander shrugged. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know. You've seen it right."

"I've only seen bits and pieces. Clips on youtube or when it was on cable tv. I never really sat down and watched it."

"XANDER."

"What? It's not my fault. I mean it never seemed like the kind of movie I would be in to. You are blaming me for not seeing it. You haven't seen it either."

Buffy sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She looked at Xander. "Okay tell me what you do know."

Xander paced back and fourth "There is a Mister White a Mister Brown and Mister Pink. The movie is kind of a Heist movie. I think one of them turns out to be an undercover cop. Most of them die in the end."

Buffy was pacing back and fourth. "Okay where do they all go?'

"I don't remember that part."

"What ?"

"It's not my fault. I was watching it and Willow called me to go to the Bronze with her. It was 2 for 1 drink night."

"God I miss The Bronze."

"Buffy Focus."

"Right." She continued pacing. "Okay so we don't know where he is headed. So how do we find him?"

Xander suddenly heard the blaring bobby sirens as the old time british police van flew past. "I bet if we followed them."

Buffy nodded "Make sense. Let's go Xander." She began running but Xander was standing on the back of her dress and as if the material was break away Buffy stood there in nothing but her bra and panties. She quickly used her arms to cover herself and give her some soft of modesty

Xander laughed and struck his head in a moment of realization. "That's the other part of Benny Hill."

"XANDER HARRIS"

Suddenly the chase began as Buffy began running after Xander in same whacky sketch style as the police. Xander was running in circles as the crazy music played from no where. Suddenly Xander stopped. "Wait Buffy. We have to focus. We have to find Oz."

Buffy went back to the dress and picked it up quickly putting it on. "Right. Sorry."

Suddenly another British Squad van rolled by. Xander looked at the handrails and step that sometimes the officer would ride on the back of. "Follow my lead Buffy."

Xander jumped on the back of the van on the left side and Buffy jumped on the right. The loud sired blared and drove them deep in to the woods. Finally the van came to it's final spot. The police had roped off a barrier at a creepy house on the edge of the forrest.

Xander jumped off looking at Buffy as she jumped. "This doesn't look familiar."

Buffy nodded. "Well we figured out the Benny Hill part and The Tarintino part. Maybe this is the other part." Suddenly the back door of the van opened and all of the police officers spilled out of the back. One fell on top of the other like a row of lined up dominos.

Giles was the first to spot Buffy and came over to her. "Well well well seems the pretty git couldn't stay away."

Spike laughed "Oh bollox to that. She fancies me. It's clear."

Xander just did his best to hold his laughter in. Buffy looked at him in disgust. "Can you just tell me is the guy with the briefcase in there."

Spike nodded. "Too right he is. We cornered him and the rest of his gang in there."

Xander nodded thanks for the info. "Come on lets go Buffy."

Giles shook his head. "Hey boy we put this barrier up for a reason. You need to stay behind the line."

Buffy rolled her eyes and lifted the rope knowing the bunk police force couldn't stop them. Xander followed closely behind. "Hey Buffy do you think they'll come after us?"

Spike pulled out his billy club to threat them but he dropped it. In true slap stick style they both bent over to pick it up at the same time there heads crashing together knocking each other out.

Buffy just watched and shook her head "God I want to go home."

As they approached the creepy house Buffy leaned up looking in to the window. Oz was in there sure enough he had the brief case. The real surprise was all the other faces. Fath was dressed in the same black suit and tie as Mister Pink dancing to Stuck in the middle with you. She had a straight blade razor in her hand and was slicing and dicing what looked to be Principal Snyder. In another room entirely different Angel had a gun drawn and pointed at Cordeila who in turn had her gun pointed at Willow. On the floor in the corner a crying Riley Finn was lying there with a bullet in his gut.

It was jarring for both of them to see the people they loved in such a violent angry situation. Xander pulled Buffy back and looked her in the eyes. "Remember they may look like ours but they aren't."

"I know Xander. It's just hard. I know nothing about this movie but knowing Tarantino it's not going to end peacefully."

"You are probably right."

Xander looked at Buffy "Do you see Oz?" Buffy stepped back to take a better look. She felt a rattle under her feet. Buffy bent down and picked up the baby rattle. "Kind of a strange thing in the middle of the woods."

Suddenly shots rang out from inside of the house and they heard the back door of the house and the crunch of leaves. Oz was running out the back door he had the briefcase in hand and was trying to put as much distance between himself and the scene of the crime.

Buffy sighed "Let's get him." She ran after him. Being faster and stronger she had little to no problem tackling him. The new gun Oz was holding suddenly fell to the ground as Buffy pinned him down. Buffy quickly picked up the gun. "Give us back the thing you stole from my friend."

Oz looked at her exasperated and angry. "You again."

Buffy had an angry glare to her. She took the gun and placed it between his eyes. "I'm not fucking around anymore." She pulled the hammer back.

Xander looked on a little shocked. For a girl that lived in darkness this wasn't like her. Not at all. Oz squirmed. "Everything I took is in the briefcase I swear."

Buffy yelled. "Xander check it out."

Xander quickly opened the case finding the diamonds along with the dimensional hopping device. "Yeah it's here."

Oz felt the cold steel against his head. "Take the diamonds too. I don't care anymore. Just let me go."

Buffy grabbed a handful of the diamonds in anger. "This is the reason so many had to die?" She forced the handful in this mouth. Oz coughed and coked trying to spit them out. Buffy looked at her. "You can go fuck yourself."

Buffy's finger moved to the trigger and she went to pull but Xander charged her knocking her off of Oz. "What the hell are you doing Buffy. "

Oz jumped to his feet "I am outta here." He took off running away once again.

Buffy stood to her feet look at Xander with absolute contempt. The gun was still in her hand. She looked up at Xander and dropped the gun. "You child. You have no idea who it is you are truly dealing with." She raised a hand and lift Xander off the ground.

Xander panicked. "I don't remember this in any of Quentin's movies."

"These are the woods where you and your kind hung me. You thought I was a witch. All I wanted was to save my son. I loved my son and you people destroyed me."

Xander looked at her "Buffy you are stronger than this and what ever this is I know it's not you."

Buffy held Xander in the air with the magic inside of her. She waved her hand and he flung against a tree pinned by an invisible force. Buffy stood at a distance and drew her hand back and in a swiping potion she ripped his shirt and scratched his chest deeply.

Xander screamed in pain. "Buffy come on. Let's go home Buffy. This isn't you. We are supposed to be at Willow's Biirthday party. I'm supposed to be eating cake and you are supposed to be trying to get me to sing bad karaoke with you. If you do this you'll hate yourself forever."

Buffy just laughed. "You know nothing of hate boy. You don't know what it is to love something so entirely and than have it taken from you." Buffy pulled the baby rattle from her pocket and stepped to Xander. She dangled the rattle in his face. "This belonged to my son."

"Buffy it's the rattle. You have to destroy the rattle. it's controlling you."

She just laughed at him. "Your friend is gone. This is my home now and I am liking my" She shuddered trying to speak. Xander dropped to the ground. In a barely audible whisper Buffy looked to him."Take the rattle destroy it." Xander grabbed it out of her hand and ran. Buffy was doing everything she could to keep the demon at bay. Xander saw the shining gun Buffy had dropped just a few moments earlier. He picked up the gun but suddenly felt himself being pulled back.

He fell to the ground dropping the rattle. He grabbed the earth trying his best to avoid being pulled back. Buffy yelled at him. "Your friends will is strong but I am stronger."

Xander grabbed for the rattle but it was out of reach. With his other hand he raised the gun aiming at the rattle. He missed with his first shot. As Buffy continued to pull him back he fired again but missed again. He than felt a hand on his leg and knew it was now or never. He squeezed the trigger one more time and watched as the bullet connected with the rattle shattering it in to pieces.

Buffy's felt a wave of nausea pass over her and she fell to the ground. Xander quickly jumped up and scooped her up. "Buffy you okay. Oh God please tell me you are okay."

Her eyes fluttered open. "I'm sorry for hurting you." She touched his scratched chest.

Xander shook his head. "It will heal. Are you back? Completely?"

Buffy nodded and motioned for Xander to put her on her feet. "What ever that was I could feel it being forced out when the rattle was destroyed."

"Who was she?"

"It was sad. She was a mom who lost her child. She loved her son more than anything. So much so that she gave her two daughters life so that she could have him back."

"And that stuff about her being hung?"

She nodded. "It was all true."

"You okay?"

"If it was anyone else they would probably be screwed up for life but."

"But it's not even your first timed possesed."

She stood up and dusted herself off. "Nice to know you don't have to go to Sunnydale for evil spirits to track me down."

"God I miss Sunnydale."

""Can we go home yet?"

Xander took out the device and looked it over. "We can go," He took out his hand for her to grab.

She grabbed his hand. "Let's go."

With that he pushed the button and sent them away. The blur of blinding light once again swept them away. Buffy opened her eyes. "Xander where are we?"

Xander held the screen up. "All it says is loading."

Buffy sighed and shook her head. She put her hands on her hips and looked up and around. It looked like a typical city scene, They stood in front of a fast food restaurant. "I don't know but I'm starved and I say we eat."

Xander looked at the restaurant. "You want to try this place?"

"Never heard of it but at this point I'd eat anything."

"Who knows maybe Los Pollos Hermanos is just what we need to get us home."


	6. Chapter Br Bu Ba

Buffy walked behind Xander in to Los Pollos Hermanos behind Xander. The smell of cheap greasy fried chicken filled the air. As bad as it was the scent was practically dancing in their nostrils. Buffy held her stomach. "Xander I am starving."

"I know what you mean." Between all of the dimensional jumping they had been doing they weren't sure how long they had been gone. It was definitely long enough to make the fried chicken they sold there a priceless commodity.

"Xander tell me you have money for some food."

He looked at Buffy confused. "Well I have money but."

"But what?" Xander pulled Buffy aside to a corner of the restaurant whispering.

"I have money from our world technically it would be considered counterfeit here."

"What?"

"First you are assuming that our money looks like there money. What if it doesn't. Second you have to take in to thought of the whole ethical dilemma. I mean is it okay to use money you know isn't from." But she cut him off before he could finish.

"Xander in the grand scheme of things I don't think the morality of using money that isn't from here matters. We have to survive."

"Well it's not just the money. I mean you have to think about the effect of food that is foreign to us."

"Xander it's fried chicken. It's hardly a foreign delicacy."

"Maybe it's watching to much Star Trek as a kid but it's not just fried chicken. It's inter dimensional fried chicken. I am just worried that." He turned around with a nervous look to his face.

""Worried that?"

"Remember the old analogy about the butterfly effect. Change one thing and everything in the world changes. Well the people of this world belong here and everything they do was meant to happen. We are this outside force though. Everything we do here can change everything else. Even though it's just chicken it's not our chicken. It was never meant for us. It wasn't meant for our bodies and who knows the effects if we were to ingest it."

Buffy stomach growled even louder and she sighed. "So you are saying we shouldn't eat."

Xander shook his head. "I don't think we have that option. We don't know how long it will be till we can get back home. The chicken is just chicken and I probably have my head in this way to much.

"I sense a but coming."

"Not really a but. You need to think of the chicken as an analogy. We eat it cause we have to but we need to leave as little an impact not just on this world but any of the worlds we visit. "

Buffy looked at Xander and nodded. "Agreed." She looked down her eyes shifting to his pocket. "What does the thingy say about this world."

Xander reached in to his pocket and pulled it out. He laughed a little. "It's the most advanced piece of technology we ever got our hands on to and you are calling it a thingy."

"What would you call it?"

"How about the hopper?"

"Sounds like something you get from dish network."

"You got a better name?"

"Hopper it is."

Xander pushed the button on the hopper and read the screen. "It says this world is based upon the ideals and beliefs of Walter White"

"Who the hell is Walter White?"

"Hell if I know."

Buffy ran her fingers through her hair frustrated. "How long do we have till we can go?"

Xander held it up and shook his head. "It says calculating."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Again Buffy I am not your inter dimensional tour guide. I know everything you know."

Buffy shook her head and closed her eyes. "Screw it lets eat."

Xander agreed and walked to the line in the restaurant waiting. Buffy looked up at the menu trying to decide what to eat. Beside the various fried chicken and side dishes one thing stood out. in it's own section on the menu board they had something for sale called blue magic. It was available in a single double or family size. Buffy whispered. "What the hell is Blue magic?"

Xander shrugged. "Maybe it's like that stuff you have to ask for at Popeye's cajun sparkle."

"It's' eight times the price of the meal Xander and that is for the small."

"Well we obviously won't be ordering any of tha" Before he could finish his sentiment the front door of the restaurant was kicked open as two men with Shot guns came barreling in from the single side door a 3rd man with a shot gun came in. He was obviously the ring leader and fired a single shot in to the air. "Everyone put your hands in the air and don't make a move. I see anyone going for a cell phone or a weapon we will drop you where you stand."

Xander closed his eyes and whispered. "Seriously? I swear the universe puts us on the doorstep of trouble and pushes us to react."

Buffy just put her hands up and shook her head. "Maybe we should."

"Remember Buffy butterfly effect. We are just visitors here."

Second man with the shot gun walked closer to the line and held the gun on the cashier. "We are here for the Blue Magic. Give us all you got and we will be on our way." The third man pulled out 3 large duffle bags and jumped the counter. Out of no where the manager ran to the back room. If he could get to he back room it was a safe room The solid steel and bullet proof glass would protect not only him but all the blue magic until the authorities arrived. He ran as fast as he could but it wasn't fast enough. The third gunman raised his shot gun pumped it once and fired a single shot hitting the back of the manager killing him instantly.

Buffy watched on in horror. Maybe Xander was right and they were an outside force in this world. Maybe that manager was always meant to die. To the people who loved the now dead manager would they have wanted her to sit quietly and do nothing. Buffy looked at Xander whispering. "Everyone here is a witness Xander. We know they have no problem killing and they will once they get what they want."

Xander stole a glance at the armed robbers. Whomever they were they didn't feel a need to hide there face. No ski masks meant they didn't care if people saw them and he knew Buffy was right but it still didn't change the fact they were 3 thugs with guns. "Buffy I know what you are thinking but."

Suddenly thug 2 pumped the gun and yelled pointing it at Xander. "Keep your hands up and shut your mouth boy."

The man who shot the manager hopped the counter and took the duffle bags in the back. Xander tried not making eye contact with the man. "I"m sorry." The 1st thug was waiting by the door keeping an eye out for any police that might arrive. The man holding the gun on Xander looked at him. "You wouldn't be trying to play a hero now would you?"

Xander just shook his head. "Nope just hungry. Just wanted some chicken."

The man laughed and turned his back to Buffy poking the cold steel barrel into Xander's back. "Some tweakers chicken maybe."

Buffy was worried for Xander and butterfly effect or not she had enough. Located on the floor was a steel post with a velvet rope. It was connected to another pole and was used to form the line. You saw them typically in banks. Slowly Buffy unhooked the rope. The first man had his eye on outside and the man in back was loading the haul. Now was the best chance Buffy would have. She heard the man pump the shot gun to get a shell in place and knew it was now or never. She picked it up and swung at the back of his head connecting full force. In one single the man was on the floor knocked out. Xander turned to Buffy scooping up the shot gun.

"So much for not getting involved?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Not the time Xander." The man at the door turned his attention hearing the commotion. Buffy ran at him as quick and fast as she could. The man pumped the shot gun and Buffy knew it was time to get low. She slid on the cool linoleum. He fired a shot at where she was standing but she continued sliding on the floor as the bullet whizzed high. When she got with in striking distance she raised her foot to the man's testicles that would make any hope of future children a pipe dream. He fell to his knees and Buffy quickly jumped up grabbing his shot gun.

The third and final man looked up just in time to see Xander holding a gun on him. He was so busy filling the bags with blue magic he didn't even see what happened till it was too late. Xander saw him looking at the gun "Don't even think about it."

Xander quickly kicked the gun aside and looked at Buffy. "You okay?"

"I got these 2 up here. What about you?"

Xander bent down picking up the gun. "It's going to be fine." He looked at one of the frightened employees. "Why don't you call the police."

The thug looked at Xander and put his hands up. "This was a bad idea. I see that now. Please just let us go. Don't do this man. I have a family. I am begging you. Just let us walk out."

Xander shook his head "You didn't really seem to care about the poor guy you shot or his family."

The fear in this man's eyes wasn't common place every day fear. It was something deeper something more. Buffy and Xander had them all lined up in front of the counter when the police arrived 15 armed swat filled the restaurant with enough hardware to start a small war. They yelled at Xander. "PUT DOWN THE GUN NOW."

Xander quickly dropped the gun and threw his hands up. Buffy stepped in front of Xander protectingly. "We aren't the bad guys."

After talking with several of the employees and customers on site it was confirmed Buffy and Xander were truly the saviors of the days. As they pulled the 3 thugs up and collected the guns one of the cops came over to Xander. "Sorry for drawing on you but we didn't know."

Xander shook his head. "It's over and done."

An officer approached them. He had a certain Riley Finn feeling to him He was clean cut and by the book. Not a hair out of place and a chiseled jaw that said I am the law. . "My names Officer Jenkins. We need more citizens like you two. Now I am going to need your names and get some statements but what you did here today saved a whole bunch of lives. This wasn't their first robbery and when they got what they wanted they were going to kill everyone here."

Buffy felt a sense of relief that she was able to put an end to their violence. . She looked at the officer "Well we try not to get involved and if it's okay we just want to get on our way. We are hungry and tired and."

Jenkins looked at Buffy "I completely understand but we do have a protocol and I am going to have to insist on you coming with us." Jenkins looked at them. "How about I get you guys some chicken to go you can eat it at the station and we will send you on your way as fast as we can.

Xander let go of a deep breath and looked at Buffy. He than looked to Jenkins. "Yeah I guess that is fine."

As they were waiting on the food several of the officers came up to both Buffy and Xander shaking hands with them. One of them even gave Xander a business card telling him he could have a hell of a future in law enforcement. Buffy should have felt a little slighted but right now there were bigger issues at hand. As the food arrived the employees insisted it was all on the house. The cops lead Xander and Buffy out the door and to a waiting car. As they walked out of the restaurant and to the car the 3 thugs were now on their knees with their hands cuffed. A single command was given and 3 officers pulled their side arms and put a bullet in each one of there heads. Buffy almost fell back in shock watching the execution go down so public and so violent.

"What the FUCK was that?"

Jenkins looked at Buffy confused? "That was justice." To Xander and Buffy it was vile and disgusting but the people passing by didn't so much as flinch. They just looked on as if it was a typical Tuesday morning.

Just like that Xander got it. He knew why the man begged earlier. "You killed him. I mean what about due process. What about a trial by jury. What about."

Jenkins just laughed. "These men were guilty. We get to the station and I will show you videos of them doing this exact routine and killing everyone in the restaurant. Even with out that though you saw them kill the manager of this establishment."

Buffy shook her head."That may be so but doesn't everyone deserve a day in court."

Jenkins crossed his arms slightly annoyed. "Why waste the courts time and money on what is clearly an open and shut case."

Xander got a sick feeling from it. "Waste of time we are talking about human lives."

Jenkins shook his head. "You two must not be city folk." He tried to sound understanding.

Buffy cleared her throat trying to find the words. "We aren't from here but even if we were I don't think I'd want to be so complacent with what just happened."

Jenkins put his hands up. "Look we aren't the bad guy and I get that you might not like what we do but it works. The numbers prove that. I don't want to fight. I appreciate all you have done let's just get to the station and you guys can head out. I'm sure it has been a long day."

No more words were said. Buffy just got in the back of the car and Xander next to her. As they rode Xander one again pulled the hopper from his pocket. It no longer read calculating. The clock said 2 days 13 hours and 48 minutes. Xander held it to Buffy so she could see. She sighed having an uneasy feeling about the world they were in. When the arrived at the station 3 different news crews were already there waiting for them. They were yelling at the officers that they wanted an interview with the two strangers who stopped the robbery. The surveillance camera footage had captured everything and had gone viral.

As they got out of the car the cameras and lights were in there face. Xander whispered to Buffy. "So much for minimal impact"

Jenkins stepped in front of the news crew. "Your interviews can wait. When we are done you can ask them what ever you want."

When they walked in to the station they were put in a back room. It was one of the nicer ones. It had a couch and tv. Xander looked at the bags of fast food from the restaurant. "Buffy I know that what we saw was bad and under normal circumstances I wouldn't be able to eat."

Buffy shook her head. "No we should eat I am starving."

He felt relieved. He half expected Buffy to say how can you eat after what we saw. The restaurant had given them enough food for an army which was good cause right now they were eating like an army. Buffy held up the drumstick after her first bite. "Alternate dimensional chicken or not it is pretty damn good."

Xander picked up the remote for the tv and started flipping through the channels he stopped when he saw a news reporter on tv. It was one of the faces screaming at him and Buffy as they got out of the van.

"This is Gales Weathers for News Action 1. We are standing outside The Albuquerque police station waiting on word from the Los Pollos Hermanos saviors. Right now they aren't telling us much. It is believed the three men who were thwarted in the robbery were the same 3 who robbed the East store 2 weeks before and an our of town location before that. As per Heisenberg law the men were executed on site. Unfortunately there was one fatality. Authorities have not released the name as of yet of the man shot but when we get his name we'll let you know." Just than Gale covered her left ear as she was trying to hear word from her producer on the other end of the camera. "Okay I'm being told we have a customer who was in the store at the time here with us. Her name is Mary Stanton." A middle aged brunette woman wearing yoga pants and a pink t shirt stood in front of the camera. Gale did her best to make her feel at ease. "So Mary can you set the scene for us with what you seen earlier today."

She looked at the camera a little stunned at first but quickly found her words. "Well these 3 guys came in with guns and they said they wanted all the blue magic. We were all scared shitless."

Gales smiled. "Please remember to watch your language on tv."

Mary just continued. "After they shot the manager they came after the guy and."

Gale interrupted her. "The guy?"

Mary looked at Gale. "There was a guy and a girl who stopped them. This was the guy. They held the gun on him and were just about to kill him when the girl standing behind him hit him in the fucking head with this steal post and he went down."

Gale looked shocked as Mary dropped the F bomb on live television. "Mary language."

"So this girl attacks the other guy with the gun and the guy picks up the other dudes gun and goes total badass on them. It was clack clack motherfucker"

Gale had enough "Thank you MARY." The camera pulled Mary out of the shot and focused on Gail. "You heard it here first. Who ever these two good Samaritans are the town of Albuquerque owes you a thank you. For Action 1 this is Gail Weathers."

Xander picked up the remote turning the channel. Buffy sighed "What are you looking to find?"

"Aren't you curious about alternate dimensional programming?"

"Can't be that different from our world?"

Xander stopped suddenly when something caught his attention. It looked to be a reality show. Jeff Probst was standing on the edge of the woods and held a microphone. "Welcome back to Friday the 13th the reality series. Now Katie has been voted out of the safe cabin and in to the woods to fend for herself. Now she had the Immunity Hockey Mask earlier in the week but traded it a way for an extra vote. I am thinking she has to regret that choice now."

Xander held up the remote and turned it off. "God in this world or any other reality tv still SUCKS."

Buffy had half been listening but turned her attention to an old newspaper left int he room. She scanned an article while reading "So I think I figured out what blue magic is."

"Is it blue berry flavored."

"it's meth?"

Xander laughed thinking she was joking. "Buffy they were selling it at a fast food restaurant I hight doubt they sell meth at a fast food restaurant."

With no words she turned the paper to Xander pointing an ad out. The ad read. "Don't accept substations only Blue Magic is 99.1 percent pure for the cleanest best high you will ever receive. Besides that any other Methamphetamine you buy is dangerous. More than that it is illegal. So fly high with blue magic." The ad showed a picture of a couple sharing a bag of blue magic with a big smile. In the corner of the ad was a balding man with a smile. The caption of the photo read "It's Walter White approved."

Buffy pulled the paper back. "Bet you are glad you didn't put that on your fried chicken now."

Before Xander could say anything Jenkins came in to the room. He had two clip boards in hand. "I typed up your statements. We confirmed everything with what was on the video cameras. There is one problem we are having."

Xander shook his head. "What is the problem?"

Jenkins sat in the chair across from Buffy. "So we ran the names you gave us and we can't find a record of you two anywhere."

Buffy cleared her throat. "It's complicated and."

Jenkins put his hands up. "Don't sweat it. Orders from above my pay grade are to let you know we appreciate everything both of you did."

Xander stood up. "And we are free to go?"

Jenkins looked back and fourth at them. "Technically free but we'd like you to stay as guests for the next week."

Buffy looked at him skeptically. "And if we say we just want to go."

Jenkins let out an uncomfortable groan. "Heisenberg's law says technically I can keep you indefinitely with out reason or excuse. Than you end up in a crappy jail cell. You do this my way we will put you up in the nicest suite in the plaza. All your expense paid. Consider it a mini vacation."

Xander angry stood up. "Vacations are usually made by choice."

Jenkins had a smile he was holding back of excitement. "Fine I wasn't supposed to tell you two this but you two are kind of famous it's gone world wide. I just got off the phone with the higher ups and." He seemed almost giddy as if he was holding it he burst unable to hold it in anymore. "Emperor White wants to have a photo opportunity with you two."

Buffy looked confused "Emperor White?"

Jenkins stood up pacing. "I know it's unbelievable. I mean I know he started off here and I worked with a guy once who did security for him."

Xander let go of a breath. "And fi we don't want to meet him?"

To Jenkins it looked like he had suddenly been shot through the heart. "Why could you possibly not want to meet him? I mean the guy is a a genius who." He just shook his head. "I have read his autobiography 12 times forward to back." Jenkins got up walking back and fourth with a nervous pace. "The man is everything I believe in. He is my personal hero and I would consider it a personal favor if you two do this one thing for me."

Buffy furrowed her brow looking at him. "If we don't?"

Jenkins turned around biting his lip. "Well you two are unregistered with no paperwork or no background. Like I said Heisenbergs law says I can."

Xander put his hands up. "1 week you said?"

Jenkins nodded happily "Stay 1 week and where ever you want to go I'll send you two. Hell I'll buy the tickets. Give you my word."

Buffy was about to tell him to go to hell when Xander nodded. "Fine but we want the best suite in town and some walking around money."

Jenkin's nodded happily. "Of course." He stood turned around ready to leave. "I'll make make the arrangement. Oh there is one last thing."

Buffy stood up. "Of course there is"

Jenkins looked at Buffy. "Just the higher ups asked if you could hold off on press interviews and stuff. Just for now."

Buffy sighed "What ever." With that he took off quickly catering to Buffy and Xander's needs. Buffy waited till he was gone. "Why did you cave? You should have told that guy to shove his offer up his ass."

"Buffy you need to step back and think for a second. They are asking us to stay for a week and we will be gone in 2 days."

"But Xander they want us to keep quiet. They want to keep us from the press. We should go out there and tell"

Xander shook his head. "Damn it Buffy this isn't our world. I get it. You want to make this better. You want to confront this great injustice but in the end it's not our injustice. It's not our world to change."

"So you are okay with a world where people can buy Meth via drive thru."

"Not in my world. If there was something like that happening in Sunnydale I would do everything I could to stop it or shut it down but this isn't my world."

"You fight injustice where ever it is Xander. Doesn't matter if it's in your backyard or if it's across some whacky dimension. You fight."

Xander looked at her. "Buffy I want to go home. I want see my world. I am taking the quickest easiest not conflict path there. You saved my life today Buffy and I'm grateful for that. I owe you again. We did what we had to do to survive but anything more than that. It's not why we are here."

Buffy angry stomped her foot like a petulant child. "So we just accept it."

Xander pulled the chair out and sat next to her. "Buffy a long time ago I read this comic book. The Justice League went to this alternate reality earth. In that world everything was titled towards the Dark. So of course the good guys show up and they figure we can change things. We can fight the evil and do what is needed to make that world a better place. In the end they had to give up. Do you know why?'

"No idea?"

"In that world the battle was always favored towards the dark. They had all the power in the world but had to concede they would always lose because it was the pivot that world sat on."

"You are saying that this world can't be changed."

"If it can it won't be by us."

Buffy stood up angry but knew he was right. "God I want to go home."

"I know." Xander came behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"We will get back I promise you."

A few minutes later Jenkins had a limo at the back entrance and swept Buffy and Xander away like they were hollywood royalty. True to his word officer Jenkins put them in the presidential suite. In the suite they found a fruit basket champagne waiting and enough blue magic to make the world go numb. On the desk in the suite was the Walter White Autobiography "Survior from Walter to Heisenberg How I not only survived but thrived through it all"

Buffy spent a good part of the day reading the book. It was a simple story of high school chemistry teacher who was diagnosed with lung cancer. The doctors gave him a minimal odds to survive the year. He used his basic knowledge of science and chemistry to make a meth that changed the world. The more power he got the more power he wanted. Along the way there were people he trusted. People like Jesse Pinkman and Hank Schrader helped to make him the man he was today.

A lot of the book seemed to be nothing but an ego stroker for White. A direct quote from his book had him telling his wife in the early days his business was so big it could be listed on the nasdaq and if he didn't show up it would go belly up. He wrote about turning a cultures point of view from Anti drugs to showing drugs when regulated, when clean and pure could be a beautiful thing. He spoke of the safety what he created. No longer did you go to dirty back allys and shoot up God knows what. In the world he made his meth was clean and safe. Instead of buying from a back ally from a thug you could purchase from your closest drive up window.

Xander grabbed the book from Buffy. "Hey give that back."

"Buffy you are getting way to wrapped up in this world."

Buffy snatched the book back and turned it pointing to the photo of Walter White on the back. "I don't know if the people in this world are just so damaged in the head that they can't see it but this man is a monster. Xander how can you be so calm. We have been here 12 hours and what we've seen. The execution in the fast food drive thru, The meth readily available, and the man controlling it all is a giant drug dealer that some how is Emperor of the world. How does this not bother you?"

"You think it doesn't bother me? Buffy everything about this world bothers me."

"Than why are you so calm?"

"What is the sense in getting all upset over things we can't control."

"Xander."

He cut her off and put his hands up. "Hear my words and understand please. This isn't me saying I don't want to change this world. This is me saying we can't. We are physically unable. Not in the grand scheme of things. We are an outside force and anything we do is like putting a band aid on a fault line. Sure we can stop a hold up or the occasional robbery but it won't change this world."

Buffy took the book chucking the book across the room and in to the fire place in rage. "Than what is the goddamn point?"

Xander stepped to her and tried to calm her. "I'm not sure what to tell you Buffy. We aren't Gods and we can't change everything." Xander turned her around and sat her on the edge of the bed. He knelt down so he could look her in the eyes. "Buffy Summers one of my favorite things about you is that when you see injustice you do what ever you can to make it right. You not only want the world to be a better place you demand it and because of you it is."

Buffy opened her mouth to object but the problem was she knew deep down he was right. She sat there for a minute and conceded. "It is just hard Xander knowing that."

"I know Buffy." He took her hand squeezing it. "That's why we need to get home and change the things we can."

She stood up and paced. "How much longer?"

Xander went to the desk and took out the hopper. "We have about 23 hours left."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Buffy looked to Xander "Put that away. We don't want someone seeing it. "

Xander quickly put it in his pocket and walked to the door. He opened it to find a man dressed casually in a t shirt and jeans. Xander looked at him casually. "Can I hep you?"

The man stood in the doorway waiting to come in. "My name's Jesse. I work all things security wise for Emperor White."

Buffy pulled Xander aside looking at him skeptically. "Jessie Pinkman?"

Jessie was used to be recognized. It was a well known fact that he was Walter's right hand man from the beginning. The media praised him as one of the men who help to build the society they have today. In hushed tones when people thought they were alone they called him Heisenberg's Bitch. Jesse just smiled at Buffy. "My reputation precedes me I see."

Xander stood in the door way not sure he wanted him in. "What can we do for you?"

He locked eyes with Xander alpha male to alpha male. "I get sent ahead of White. We have to make sure everything is on the up and up. We can't have him walking in to a trap. If I can come in I promise it won't take long."

Xander crossed his arms. "Where I come from you don't invite people in to your home if you aren't sure of their intentions."

Jessie rolled his eyes already annoyed. "Well Heisenbergs law says."

Xander cut him off. "Let me guess. You don't technically need one. So if that is the case why did you ask?"

Jesse stepped past Xander and in to the room. "Cause a gentle touch is always better than force."

Buffy laughed thinking that didn't sound like something this man would normally say. He was obviously a puppet. "Sounds like something White would say."

Jesse walked in to the room looking around. "I would assume you are Buffy." He smiled at her.

Buffy stone cold facade didn't falter. "You would assume right."

Jesse looked in to the fire place and saw the pages and cover of Walter book burning in the embers. "Mind explaining the book?"

Xander shook his head. "Not really?"

Jesse put his hands up in surrender. "Look I don't know what it is you got against me. Trust me when I tell you that I am the kind of guy you want to have on your side." He looked at both of them. "It is clear that both of you don't want me here. So let me give you the basics."

Xander stared out the window half listening. "The basic's?"

Jesse went to the fruit seeing the blue magic untouched. "Mister White is very particular. There is a protocol and rules when he is in the room with you?"

Buffy just sneered. "What kind of rules?"

Jesse pulled the chair out from the desk. "First I would make sure none of that book is in the fire place when he gets here."

Buffy balled her fists and mumbled. "Heaven forbid we offend the delicate sensibilities of Pablo Escobar."

Jesse turned his attention to her. "What was that?'

Xander looked at Buffy than to Pinkman. "Nothing. So next rule?"

Jesse stretched back in the chair. "Weapons. The room is clear right now and that is how it is to stay."

Buffy smirked a little thinking if Pinkman only knew she could turn half a dozen things with in reach to a deadly weapon that she could wield with more precision than any soldier with a gun. She just nodded. "Yeah no weapons got it."

Jesse looked at the two of them with real concern now. "The last isn't so much a rule just."

Buffy stepped closer "Just what?"

He stood up and faced her. "You two have combative written all over you. You push him you'll regret it. Please don't forget that his authority is final. He doesn't have to hide the things he does. If you piss him off he will act and to both of you his actions may seem cruel or twisted but in his mind it's justified and necessary."

Buffy gritted her teeth angry. "Even if he blatantly wrong?"

Jesse laughed. "You can have all the right you want on your side but who cares? You can die knowing you are right."

Xander stepped behind Buffy his hand on her shoulder. "We aren't here to make any waves."

Pinkman nodded. "That's good. I think he just wants to get some pictures. Have a video where he thanks you for the brave actions and he's gone. Whole thing will take maybe 15 minutes."

Xander nodded "Sounds good."

PInkman pulled out his phone looking at the schedule. "Oh and this has been bumped up. He wants to do it tomorrow."

Xander suddenly felt his stomach churn. He thought both of them would be long gone before White showed up. "But I thought he wasn't going to show up until."

Pinkman had his eyes on the cellphone. "Change of plans. He's got a deal to work in the area and it would be quicker to just get it done."

Xander cleared his throat trying to remain calm. "What time?"

Pinkman put the phone back in his pocket confirming. "He will be here at 3pm."

Xander breathed a sigh knowing they would be able to get out of there at 2pm. "Well thank you Mister Pinkman."

He offered them a fake smile. "I'll leave you two be." He turned around walking to the door. Buffy had to ask.

"Why do you do it?"

Jesse stopped in his tracks. "Excuse me?"

Buffy looked at him. "I can see you aren't like him. I also read your story at least his version of it in that bloated drivel he called an auto biography."

Jesse turned and looked towards her but not at her. It was to hard to look people in the eyes these days. "You don't know me lady."

Buffy tried to get him to look at her but he refused. "You are right I don't know you. There is a path though. Some go willingly and some are dragged along. I'm not sure where you fit in all of that but you could be a force for good you could stop White."

Pinkman closed his eyes and thought about Buffy's words. She was right about one thing. He remembered the day that he was dragged down that path. He had always been a willing participant up until one act in the dessert. It should have been a good day. It should have been there victory dance. It was right out of the great heist. An old train robbery like you'd see in the movies. They were about to celebrate but out of no where a kid pulled up on a bike. It was like it happened in slow motion. He still could see the kid and the bike and the gun and flash and nothing. That child wasn't the only one to die that day. Jesse Pinkman died that day and what was left was something else. It was something he never wanted.

Finally he looked up and looked Buffy in the eyes. "You are sweet . I mean i get it. There was a time that Walter could have been stopped. Maybe when he was a simple chemistry teacher. Maybe when we were working out of the shitty RV in the dessert. All of that is in the past now. No one is stopping Mister White today. It's just the way it is."

With those words he opened the door and left them there. Buffy turned and looked at Xander. "I know what you are going to say. I should have held my tongue."

Xander shook his head "You wouldn't be the woman we all know and love if you did." Suddenly she turned to him. "Oh he is showing up tomorrow and."

"And we should be gone before he arrives. Don't worry about it."

She nodded. "You are right about one thing. The sooner we can put this world behind us the better off we'll be."

Xander smirked and crossed the room. "Let's get some room service."

Buffy returned the smirk. "What about all that stuff about eating food from another dimension."

Xander picked up the phone. "Well if we can stick Mister White with a huge tab for the room service I say it is worth it." As the operator picked up on the other end Xander ordered 2 prime rib, 3 shrimp cocktail, 2 lobsters and enough beluga cavier to put a kid through college. Xander put his hand over the receive. "What do you say we get some champagne?"

Buffy shook her head. "Alcohol is illegal here."

Xander rolled his eyes finding it twisted that meth was readily available but a 6 pack of Coors was off limits. When the food arrived two girls arrived carrying the food. Both of them looked to be Dawn's age and Xander smiled at them thinking how much he missed home. He looked at the girls. "Since we can charge this to the room can I charge your tip to the room?"

The first girl nodded saying nothing. Xander took the check from the girl and looked at Buffy. "So what do you think for a tip?"

Buffy took the tray of food moving it to the bed. "500 sounds fair"

"But Buffy there is 2 of them. "

"Oh well then make it a 1000."

The girls looked like they were joking till Xander quickly signed and handed them back the check. "Thank you both." Xander joined Buffy on the bed trying the different food. "You know it's not often we get a change to eat fancy."

"Agreed. I say we see how the rich folk do it." She took a tiny silver spoon of the cavier and tried a little. As she felt the taste and texture on her tongue she quickly ran to the bathroom spitting it in the sink. "Oh my God that's awful."

Xander laughed and took a spoon full and spread it on a cracker. He smiled eating it with out problem. "You don't appreciate the finer things in life Buffy."

She took her spot back on the bed. "How can you eat that stuff?"

He shrugged. "My old boss throws a Christmas party once a year and it's very high end. So this isn't my first time eating the stuff."

Buffy shook her head. "All these years and still so much I don't know about you."

Xander took the prime rib and started cutting in to it. "Well ask away. What ever you want."

The two of them ate and talked in to the night and even twilight. It had been a while since they really reconnected. They eventually passed out just before 4am. As the sun came up they slept clear in to the morning. Just before 1 pm there was a knock at the door. Xander quickly popped up in bed looking around. He jumped off the bed and his barefoot landed in a pile of un eaten mashed potatoes. "What the hell ick."

Buffy sat up suddenly realizing it was later than they thought. "Oh Crap Xander who is at the door?"

Xander looked at the clock. "It can't be White. We still have 2 hours." He quickly shook his foot clean of the potatoes and walked over to the door. As he opened it a borage of White's PR crew pushed there way in to the room. Xander looked at them . "What the hell is going on?"

A tall blonde woman obviously in charge smiled at Xander. "I am with Mister White and we need to prep the room before he arrives."

Buffy confused still waking up. "Is this about security? I mean they already checked for weapons I thought."

The blonde woman stepped to Buffy. "My name is Olivia and I work PR for Mister White."

One of the many assistants grabbed the trays off the food and quickly ushered them away. A whole team was cleaning the room like little Mister Clean Ninja hybrid. Xander looked at Olivia. "So you are cleaning the room?"

Olivia motioned with a single finger and rack after rack of clothes were brought it. "Not just cleaning." She held a navy sports jacket up to Xander s neck visualizing him in it. "No I don't think so." With that she tossed it behind her to the ground and moved to the next coat. The next one was a tan suit coat. Again she shook her head. "Not with your flesh tone." She picked up the next jacket and her assistant was working with Buffy. She was holding various outfits with her.

Xander looked at Olivia. "No one said anything about new clothes."

Olivia was only half listening. "Oh don't be difficult. When they are done you can keep them as a gift." With that she held up a charcoal blazer to Xander. "I think we have a winner." Buffy on the other hand was being put in a black pencil skirt and a white chenille blouse. Once the outfits were chosen they were given bathrobes to put on while getting hair and make up done. Xander was getting nervous. He figured they would be able to skip out with out fuss but with all this attention it wasn't going to be easy. Once they were made up and dressed Xander and Buffy stepped out of the bathroom. All the typical furniture that was in the suite was now replaced. The hotel had nice stuff in the room before but this furniture was much more elegant. It was more polished and refined. Olivia stood in the center of the room. Once Xander and Buffy stepped out. "I don't know what I did better with . The room or you two."

Buffy looked at Xander who was all polished up and camera ready but she knew her friend and he might have looked nice but the suit and tie wasn't exactly him. It wasn't an insult Xander was more rugged construction worker than court room lawyer. "I think I like you better the other way."

Xander smiled and laughed. "You look like a school teacher." Olivia's cell phone rang out suddenly she answered it quickly disregarding their comments.

She smiled at both of them "It's time. He is here."

Xander quickly looked at the clock it was only 2:13 and they couldn't leave until 2:22. "But we were told he would be arriving at 3"

Olivia nodded and headed to the door. "Oh the official meeting is at 3 but he likes to have a sit down with everyone before the cameras go up."

Buffy saw Olivia leaving. "But where are you going?"

She kept walking "Mister White is big on privacy."

As the door close Xander ran to the other room and grabbed the hopper. Buffy stood behind him. "How much time?"

"I think 8 minutes."

"Fine if we have to meet this guy we can fake it. We will give a big happy smile and shake his hand and what ever he wants."

"What if we get the hell out of here before he arrives?"

Buffy ran to the door and opened it. Standing on the other side of every door was an armed guard with an assault rifle. The guard turned to Buffy. "Can I help you?"

Buffy smiled at him. "Oh no just wanted to say hi." She laughed awkwardly "HI." She quickly shut the door. "Won't work Xander. They have a guard posted at every exit."

Xander looked at the balcony. "What if?" He stepped outside and saw an armed guard on those doors as well he quickly closed the door. "Okay that's not an Option either. I think." But he was interrupted as he heard the guard outside. "Emperor on the floor."

Both Buffy and Xander turned slowly to the front door and watched as the door knob turned. They could hear the footsteps as he entered the room. The man entered the room wearing a 3 piece suit. To look at this man you wouldn't think he was a drug dealer. A slow smile crawled across his face. I'm sure to him he thought it was welcoming but to Buffy and Xander it just creeped them out. He cleared his throat as the two of them stood feeling planted to the floor. "So you two must be the one everyone is talking about." He stuck out his hand to shake. Buffy looked at it for a second not sure if she wanted to shake the hand of such a snake. Xander smiled thinking he just needed to play along for a few minutes.

He took Walt's hand. "Real pleasure to meet you Mister White."

Walter shook Xander's hand firmly and locked eyes with him. He held on to his hand not letting it go. "You can tell a lot about a man by his hands." He quickly turned his hand over. "These are working mans hands. I be willing to bet you know all about a hard days work."

Xander pulled his hand back and nodded. "I do construction."

Walt turned his attention to Buffy. "And you must be the lady who knows how to protect herself."

Buffy remembered Xander's words and reached out taking his hand. "It's quite the honor Emperor White."

He just took her hand shaking it. "Some one as pretty as you can call me Walt.

"Thank you Walt."

Walt pointed to the table. "Can we sit and talk for a bit."

Xander walked to the table pulling out Buffy's chair. He sat down next to her. Walt sat across from both of them. Xander spoke first. "I was under the understanding a camera crew would be here."

Walt nodded. "Oh they will. I just wanted to get everything nice and polished. You know so everything looks good for the camera." Walt looked around the room. "So I hope the room was to your liking."

Buffy just nodded. "It was wonderful. Thank you for taking care of everything."

Walt just smiled "Oh it's my pleasure. Those thugs that you stopped not only stole from me more importantly the lives they took and would have continued to take had you not intervened."

Xander nodded. "Well right place right time I guess."

Walt cracked his knuckles. "Well I have always been a rule with an iron fist kind of guy. Even back in my teaching days."

Buffy looked at his eyes. "Big fan of discipline."

Walt nodded. "I've always found you can slap someone on the hands today and if your motives are good enough they will thank you tomorrow"

Xander poured a glass of water that was on the table and took a sip. "And those 3 guys executed that was a slap on the hand."

Walt laughed at him. "Oh no. That was justice. Justice must be swift and firm. Those 3 dead isn't just 3 thugs dead. It's a message. It's a message to the next guy who wants to steal from me. If you put your hand in this cookie jar there will be consequences."

Xander could see the monster now. Under the suit and smile was the devil. "So if we can talk about this camera thing and what will go down.

Buffy was so angry but hid it well. "And what would you like us to say."

Walt bounced his attention back and fourth between them. "Basically we will recount what happened inside the restaurant and I will thank you both personally for ending the crime wave of those 3 despicable thugs."

Xander looked at Walt. "So we are rehearsing this so that you can put fourth the image you want. You seem like the kind of guy who wants everything POLISHED even if there isn't a whole lot to shine about." It was funny cause he was the one who spouted off to Buffy about not making waves but something about this man made it so impossible to swallow everything he was asking.

Buffy looked at Xander a little surprised. The one who said don't rock the boat just pushed towards a huge wave. "Xander maybe."

Walt interrupted Buffy. "It's fine. I am not a stranger to the voice of opposition. You have a strong opinion obviously son." He looked at Xander and smiled. "I see a lot of people like you and I respect and understand what you are saying but the truth is you don't really see the big picture."

Xander laughed and rolled his eyes. "Big picture? Do you want to know what I see?"

Buffy looked at him. "Xander don't do this."

Walt now a little irritated looked at Xander but kept his calm face on. "No. Go ahead. Tell me about what you see."

Xander locked eyes with him. "Making up your law up as you go along and than calling it Heisnbergs law. That is just cowardly. If you want to execute someone in fast food parking lot than call it what it is. Trying to POLISH it up and call it something else something more media friendly is just cowardly. It reminds me of Munich Germany with Hitler running the 3rd reich."

He smiled and kept the cool facade listing to Xander. He kept up with the fake smile until Xander mentioned Hitler. It was at that point the first gleam of the monster showed in his eyes. "It's Heisenbergs law that makes everything run as smoothly as it does."

Buffy laughed this time. "Smoothly?" She pushed away from the table. "You sell poison out of a fast food window and that is your idea of smooth?"

Walt shook his head in defiance. "You call blue magic poison but do you know what the alternative is. You rather buy your product out of the back of a van or an ally. Get shot by some two bit drug dealer. You rather shoot up something with God knows what in it? Since my product has gone world wide do you realize that over doses have gone down over 1200 percent. Can you even fathom that number. Do you know how many people are alive today because the product I created is clean. The product I created is safe." It had been years since someone had talked to him like this. People feared him and for good reason.

Xander sat across from him not backing down. "Put what ever spin on it you want. You are still selling poison."

"I'm giving the people what they want. I can show you polls I can show you a vote where people were offered the option to change things and this is what they decided. People not only want my product but they want safe way to get it. If you took blue magic away today." He shook his head. "This world would truly burn. These people would eat themselves alive."

Xander shook his head. "Just because you can hook the masses on your high doesn't make it okay. A junkie a needs to take responsibility for his actions but so does the pusher."

Walt cleared his throat. "I would choose my words very wisely. You might look upon me and see an old man but what I've seen in this life you can't begin to fathom. I've looked death in the eye and told it to fuck off. I laid on the ground after watching those who gave there all to kill me. They met their end at my hand and when death finally thought it would claim me I pulled myself up again and I walked away. When the thugs and drug lords couldn't kill me the cancer tried and once again I am still here and I am stronger today than ever."

Buffy rolled her eyes at irony of his statement she would like to see how well Walt would do with a pack of vampires in Sunnydale. "You tell us what you want us to say. Fine. I'll tip my hat to you or kiss your ring. What ever. I don't care anymore.."

Walt just glared across at her. "You live under my dime. You sleep in the hotel I pay for and live under the blanket of protection I provide because of the choices I've made because of my leadership and you dare question the method in which I provide it."

Xander angry stood up. "You call yourself a leader but who do you have. You have hired guns. You have that Pinkman guy. You think he follows you cause he respects you."

Walt stood up matching Xander's stance "And you know about leadership?"

Xander looked at Buffy. "I'm not a leader. I'm a foot soldier but I have served under the greatest leader I've ever known. This woman standing before you could tell you what it is to be a leader. The people under her don't do it out of fear. They serve by her side because she's earned their trust. She has earned their respect and she is a legend. At the end of the day Buffy won't say it but I will. All you are is a polished up drug pusher. You push that garbage and justify that it makes the world a better place."

Walt stepped in front of him. "You think I'm just going to let you walk out of here?"

Buffy stood next to Xander taking his hand. "You know what the real tragedy of the situation here is. If it helps I will stroke your ego. I will acknowledge you are every bit the genius you claim. You are probably smarter than both us. Maybe even combined. That's what is entirely so tragic. A guy like you could change the world. A guy like you could have ended global warming or found a way to feed the world. For all you have though what did you do. You became a drug dealer. You had such potential and what did you do with it."

Buffy pushed past him as Xander followed her lead. Walt trembled in absolute rage."I'm going to give you one chance. Right here and right now you will drop to your knees and you will beg me for your life. If you don't I will call every fucking guard in here and the last thing both of you see is the other one die."

Buffy glanced at Xander "Can we go yet."

Xander pulled the hopper out of his pocket just enough to glance. He nodded at Buffy "Let's go." Buffy walked in to the other room with Xander and took his hand.

Walt watched them walk in to the lounge it was a dead end with no exits or windows. . He just shouted "If you think I am a man who isn't to be taken seriously you are gravely mistaken. I am counting to 3." Hearing nothing angry he yelled. 1….2…3.." He walked to the closest door and flung it open enraged. He looked at the team of guards. "I want them on their knees across from each other than I want you to put a bullet in both of there heads."

Walt stood back as the guards filled the room . He pointed to the lounge "They went in there" As the guards filed in they quickly turned back. The leader of the team looked high and low but there was no sign of them. "They are gone."

Walt quickly ran in to the room. "That isn't possible. I saw them go in." He looked at all of them. "They have to be hiding in here. Tear the room apart until you find them." Walt went back to the table waiting. He was confidant they would be found. There was no way out of that room except for the door they came in through. As the furniture was pulled out of the room the guards still found nothing. Walter came in to the room. "This isn't possible. They went in to this room. How did they get out?"

The commander looked at Walt. "Maybe you were mistaken. Maybe" Already enraged he grabbed the gun from the guard closet to him and gunned down the commander where he stood. "I will not be questioned. NOW how did they get out of here." Walt insisted they take the room apart. He paced in the hotel room. He was smart enough that people like Buffy and Xander could never outwit him. He would figure out where they went and he would kill them. So he took it to the next step. First they took down the wall paper and than they took down the drywall next they pulled up the floor boards. Every time Walt thought of a way they could have got out it was shut down by logic and reason. World's best magician couldn't have pulled off what they did. As the room was stripped down to bare bones he insisted to start on the next room and than the room after that. They had the power off in the hotel suite earlier so no one would get electrocuted when pulling the dry wall. Walt sat in the middle of the room in the dark. He visualized the final moments in his head forward and back. Just before midnight the guard drew straws to tell Walt what no one wanted to tell him.

Standing in the dust and debris that was once the presidential suite the guard came to Walt. "Sir."

"I already know what you are going to say. They aren't here."

"I'm sorry sir."

"Where in the hell are they?"

(_10 hours earlier)_

"I'm going to give you one chance. Right here and right now you will drop to your knees and you will beg me for your life. If you don't I will call every fucking guard in here and the last thing both of you see is the other one die."

Xander listened as the big bad wolf huffed and puffed ready to blow the house down. "Let's get out of here."

Buffy smiled taking Xander's hand. "Oh God it would be awesome to try to figure this one out."

Xander laughed taking out the hopper as he heard Walt yell "1…2….3" with that Xander pushed the button and sent both of them away.

As they were pulled out of the world the familiar sensation dropped them in another world. As Buffy opened her eyes she felt a little dizzy but quickly regained her balance. Where ever they were it was night. They stood in a wood area and could hear voices near by. Xander looked at Buffy. "Where do you think we are?"

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice and stepped closer to it. "I think." She stepped closer to the sound of people and pushed through till she saw them. Half of the people were wearing blue hazmat suits and the others were policeman sectoring off the area.

Xander caught up to Buffy "So where are we?"

That when she heard the voice again. It was Angel and a smile spread across her face. "I think were home."

"What?" But she was gone. She ran out of the woods and in to the clearing and practically tackled Angel in a hug. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

The man stepped away from Buffy pushing back from her hug. "Okay one thing at a time here. First this is a crime scene. You don't just hurdle the yellow ribbon like it's the olympics. Secondly I don't know who the hell you are. so you sure as hell don't grab an FBI agent like that."

Buffy looked confused the man before her was warm to the touch. Buffy could see his breath in the cold autumn air. She looked at him She slowly reached her hand up to touch his face. "Angel?"

He pulled her hand away. "Yeah I've been called a lot of things lady an Angel ain't one of them" He looked at the local cops. "And you guys. Come on this is a crime scene you can't just have anyone waltzing on in here."

Buffy looked at him heart broken "But I thought."

"I'm sorry lady but you got me mistaken for someone else my names Sealy Boothe."

Just than one of the haze matt suits came forward. She pulled off her ventilation mask and looked at Sealy. "Is this woman a friend of yours?"

He shook his head. "I swear to God I've never seen her in my life."

One of the cops looked at Boothe. "We did manage to capture the second one."

Boothe looked confused. "Second one?"

He nodded "A man jumped the barrier chasing her."

Sealy looked at Buffy. "You were being chased."

Suddenly two cops brought a handcuffed Xander over. "Buffy I think I"m going to jail."

Buffy sighed and shook her head. "That's my friend and I'm sorry. This is my fault. I thought you were someone else. I really didn't mean any harm."

Sealy waved over the two cops to bring Xander over. "Uncuff him." Xander looked at his face amazed at how much he looked like Angel.

"Is that Angel?"

Buffy was about to interject but Boothe cut her off. "Who ever this Angel guy is I'm not him. Now we have work to get back to. I'm letting both of you go but next time you see a crime scene you don't just go running in."

Buffy nodded. "Promise we won't go running in."

Suddenly the woman in the blue haz matt suit looked at Sealy. "You need to stop him."

Who ever she was it seemed like they were close. They argued like an old married couple. "I talked to him. It was a mistaken identity thing."

She nodded "I agree. But it might not be the identity you think is mistaken."

Xander put his hands up "Look I'm sorry we didn't mean to get involved."

With no more words she pushed an old and decayed wallet in to Boothes hand and ordered him. "Look at the license."

Buffy sighed "We are just going to go."

Sealy looked a bit shocked as he saw the photo. "You aren't going anywhere." He quickly turned the license around. "Mind tell me how your license ended up on the body of our victim?"

Xander's eyes went wide as pancakes. Sure enough the face in the photo was his. "But that's not my license I mean."

Buffy looked at the picture "What the hell is going on here?"

Sealy looked at both Buffy and Xander "You two aren't going anywhere."


	7. Boneslayer

Booth looked at Xander. "I need you to turn around."

Xander looked at the FBI agent. "This is all a misunderstanding."

Booth put his hand on Xander's shoulder and spun him around and grabbed his hands putting them together and taking out his hand cuffs. "Wow this is all a misunderstanding? That is right up there with That's not mine officer."

Buffy looked at him and was a little angry Xander was being handled the way he was. "Hey don't touch him like that."

Booth slapped the cuffs on him. "I'm taking you in for questioning."

Buffy stepped defiantly in front of him. "Oh like hell you are."

Booth looked at Buffy as she crossed her arms. "You can step out of the way or I can make this a two for one."

Xander shook his head. "Buffy it's okay." He turned looking at Agent Booth. "Just give me 10 seconds please. If you do that I will go with you willingly you don't even need the handcuffs."

Booth un cuffed him and looked at him. "10 seconds."

Xander slid his hands in his pockets trying to be subtle. He grabbed the hopper and pulled Buffy in to a hug. He whispered in her ear. "You have to take this Buffy."

Buffy could feel it pressed between them and quickly grabbed it ready to slide it in her pocket. She whispered back "I promise I'm going to get you out.."

Booth saw Xander try to pass something to Buffy he was too good of an agent not too. "Wow that was really good." Booth pulled Xander back and pulled at Buffy's hands. "What could be so important." Buffy wanted to pull back but there were to many cops around. She really didn't want to get in to a tug of war match with something as delicate at the hopper.

Buffy looked at him indignant. "That belongs to me. He was giving it to me cause we know how you policeman are. You walk in to the police station with a wallet filled with cash and when you leave all that cash is strangely missing. Not going to give you guys a chance to steal my iPod."

Booth knew people well enough to know she was lying. He looked at her skeptically for a second evaluating her body language. "Congratulations I think we are making this a two for one." He looked at the other two cops. "She's coming with us." Buffy just glared at him not saying a word. She was used to looking at Angel and not sure if she could trust the face. Angelus had done that to her. Well this was just one more face to had to his repertoire that she couldn't trust. He pointed to Xander. "I want him in the back of my car."

Buffy just clenched her fists in anger. If looks could kill Booth would have been dead. She shook her head as two policeman slapped the cuffs on her. "Asshole."

Booth turned around. "What was that?"

Xander just smirked a little at her trying to reassure her. It was those simple smiles that help to steady her. She wanted to rip in to Booth and show him what a slayer was but the simple smirk was like there own little language. The smirk said keep it cool Buffy. It said we will figure this out and we will be okay. Buffy looked at Booth. "I didn't say anything."

With that Buffy was put in the back of a sedan and Xander in the back of another. Before leaving Agent Booth went to the woman wearing the blue containment suit.

"Bonesy what do you know?"

Temperance Brennan was the leading forensic anthropologist in her field. Where most would look at some broken bones and fractured skull and see a murder she saw a puzzle. That puzzle could tell them so much. Not only about the victim but sometimes it gave up clues to the murderer. To say she was good at her job was a bit of an understatement. Her job had given her fulfillment in more ways than she would ever imagine. Financially the compensation she received from the Jeffersonian was far from chicken scratch. The real money came from her work as an author. If her work in forensics hadn't made her famous her novels did. Dr Brennan had found the intellectual fulfillment she was looking for in her job, the financial compensation but with Agent Booth she found something else.

They had been working together for years and it took them forever to admit how they felt about each other. Today they were husband and wife the ultimate duo in every way. Bones was the nickname Booth came up with. At first it agitated her but much like the old school FBI agent it grew on her. She turned looking over her shoulder at her husband.

"Agent Booth all off this will need to be gathered and taken back to the Jeffersonian."

Booth quickly raised his wrist watching looking at the time. "Damn it."

"What?"

"I had an hour 45 minutes it would take you to say that."

Doctor Jack Hodgins who was working with in listening range smiled and looked at the two of them. "I believe I had an hour 30 to an hour 40." He just continued picking up and scraping particulates and bugs as he he smiled.

Booth rolled his eyes. "So what can you tell me."

She stood back from the scene looking over the unearthed body. "I would put time of death some where between 10 to 12 days."

"Cause of death?"

"Too soon to do so would be wild and reckless."

"You know I've been doing this for years. You'd think by now I would know the song and dance."

"What was with that woman hugging you?"

"You know it's strange. She thought she knew me. She just threw herself at me."

"That seems highly inappropriate."

He couldn't help but smile. "Do I sense a twinge of jealousy. Don't worry honey I only have eyes for you."

"Jealousy is an emotional reaction that people with insecurities have when they feel inadequate next to someone their superior. That woman was in no way my superior."

"I wouldn't trade 100 of her for 1 of you." He put his hands on the hips looking at Xander in the back of the squad car. "I have a feeling this case is going to be fairly open and shut."

"I'd be careful about jumping to conclusions."

"It's not much of a jump when you find the suspect in the woods a few feet from the body he dumped. Than we find his identification on the body of the victim. In the FBI we have a term for that. It's called Open and Shut."

"Well we have learned everything we can standing around out here."

"I'll see you at home. Keep me posted if you find out anything"

As the black FBI Sedan pulled away from scene Buffy found a certain amount of irony that once again she was in a new world and once again she was riding in the back of a police car. The difference this time was they weren't going to a police station. The final destination that day would be FBI Headquarters. Buffy and Xander were lead inside seperately. They were given orange jumpsuits and lead in to single holding cells. They took everything she had. They took her money and keys, wallet and watch. All of that she didn't care about. It was the hopper that worried her. Agent Booth with his grabby hands yanked it out of her hands and with out it Xander and her would be stuck in that world forever. As they locked her in the cell she found it much more accommodating than most standard jail. It was clean and sterile. There was a single bed that was attached to the wall with pillow and blankets. Buffy knew that worrying wouldn't do any good. It never did. She laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

She wondered what was going on back home. How much time had passed. It seemed like they were just finding their place again. After Sunnydale got sucked in to the hell mouth it felt like they would never find a home again. The first 5 years they lived on the road practically. Between Giles contacts and the slayers a new council was formed. Anyone who survived the hell mouth had a hand in forming it. Once Xander felt they were established he told Giles he would be leaving. He said he would always be there for them if they needed him but he had spent over half his life in darkness. He wanted something normal.

The biggest surprise was he wasn't the only one. Xander speaking out gave others the courage. Dawn had left for college and was on her way to becoming a pediatrician. Willow helped Faith to scrub her record. Faith and several of the other girls enrolled in the police academy and were finding a way to keep the streets safe during the day. A vampire fighting police force kept the streets equally safe at night. it came as quite a shock though when Buffy told everyone she had enough. Like Xander she would be there in a pinch if needed but she wanted to find out who she was with out the vampire slayer.

Willow had stayed with Giles forming a new school for the remaining girls. Buffy couldn't face the prospect of being alone. After all that's what the slayer prophecy had been about for so long. Xander seemed to be the best fit so when he left she went with him. Right about now she was really starting to miss the little 2 bedroom apartment they started to call home.

Xander was in the other cell sleeping peacefully. Buffy would have probably called him nuts that in the midst of being a murder suspect he could sleep so peacefully but over the years he had learned to sleep anywhere if the situation called for it. Just before 9 AM the cell door opened and Agent Sealy Booth entered the cell behind a guard carrying some breakfast.

Booth flashed Xander a sarcastic smile. "Good morning sunshine."

Xander sat up looking past him seeing the tray of breakfast. "Is that for me?"

The guard sat it on the sink and left the room. Booth picked it up and examined it. "This is a to go meal."

"You are letting me go?"

"No. I have some questions for you." He pushed the tray in to Xander's chest. "Take it and follow me."

"Would it kill you to say please?"

"You know it just might."

Booth signaled the guard to open the door. Xander walked out first with Booth behind him. Xander followed him in to the interview room. The mirror in the room was clearly double sided and the microphone on the table clearly picked up all the audio. Xander set his tray down on the table and pulled out the chair. Xander started on the scrambled eggs. He sat down and took a bite and held it in his mouth for a second. They were most likely powdered eggs. They were cold and flavorless. Booth could see the look clearly on his face.

"Not exactly the Ritz Carlton."

Xander slowly swallowed the bite. "At this point I'd settle for Ritz cracker."

Booth sat across from him as Xander continued eating. "So tell me the story. Tell me what that guy did that was so bad that you buried him in the woods."

Xander reluctantly took another bite. "I didn't kill anyone."

Booth reached in to his pocket. Inside was the identification from the night before. It was held in a plastic bag as to avoid evidence contamination. He threw it in front of Xander. "Can you tell me how that was found on the victim then."

Xander swallowed another bite and picked up the bag looking at it closely. "I know that looks like me but."

"But what?"

Xander shook his head. "That's not me. First off that guy has both his eyes and in case you haven't noticed I have one." He pointed to his eye patch.

"Picture could have been taken well before you lost your eye. Maybe the eye in the photo is a glass eye. Maybe you just wear that eye patch as a disguise."

Xander dropped the fork on the plate and looked at Booth. "You want a look underneath the patch so I can show you how fake it is."

"If that isn't you, than you tell me who it is."

"I DON"T KNOW?"

"What were you doing in the woods?"

"We weren't in the woods. Not at first. We just were close and Buffy heard something and saw you and she thought you were someone else so she chased after you and I chased after her and that just happened to be in the middle of your crime scene."

Booth laughed and scratched his chin. "Okay so let me paint out your picture. The guy in the hole isn't you. He looks exactly like you. You happen to just be passing through the exact location where a body is found. A body with your id on it."

"That's not mine."

"Let me ask you Cooper if you came at me with a story like that would you believe it?"

"Who the hell is Cooper?"

Booth pointed to the identification. The name was Cooper Hoffman. "Stop treating me like I'm an idiot."

"My name is Xander Harris I don't know who the hell Cooper is."

"Well your partially telling the truth. We cross referenced Cooper Hoffman and found it's an alias."

"What?" Booth threw out several different print outs of licences all with the same photo and face.

"Out of California we have a Kevin Lynch, Lee McHenry in Seattle, Gil Gilbert, Jake Relm, and the list goes on and on and on."

Xander picked them up looking confused. "What is this?"

"You are a con man. You screw people out of money than leave town before anyone can track you down. Problem is though this time you didn't get away. One of your victims found you. He confronted you. Did he ask for his money back?"

Xander put his hands up thinking. "Give me a second. This doesn't make sense." The room was spinning on edge a bit.

"He asked for his money back and he was going to rat you out You could have given him the money but than you have a loose end. He could still turn you in and lets face it you just wanted to keep the money so killing him is so much easier."

"No."

"I have most of it figured out except for the girl. We ran her prints and haven't gotten anything back yet but we will. What is she to you? She your partner in crime?"

"She's Buffy she had nothing to do with this?"

"So you want to keep her out of this That is good. For once you are doing something right. Let me help you to protect her."

"I don't know what you want?"

Booth slammed his fist down angry. "I want the truth."

"I don't know the truth. I don't know what is going on."

"If I were you I'd figure it out real quick."

Xander closed his eyes and tried to figure things out. "Agent Booth I honestly don't know everything that is going on here."

"Than tell me what you do know. Tell me the truth."

Xander laughed. "You don't want the truth. You wouldn't believe it anyways. Hell I am here and I don't believe it."

Booth stood up headed to the door. "You want me to believe you didn't do this but you aren't offering me any proof." With that he opened the door and started to step out.

Xander's mind raced. "I can take a lie detector test."

Booth turned around with a smile on his face. "Really?"

"I didn't do this and I can show you. You are in the FBI you have to have access to a lie detector right."

Booth just turned around. "I will set it up."

Down the hall Buffy was sitting in a similar room. When Booth entered the room her gut reaction was to treat him like Angel. She had to remember that no matter what he looked like this was not Angel. "What do you want?"

Booth sat down across from Buffy this time. "I want answers. First off we ran your finger prints and the name you gave us."

"Let me guess. You didn't find anything."

"You knew that. Which means you knew the info you gave us were bogus. Now I just left the other room after talking to your boyfriend"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Brother? Business partner? What is he to you?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. How to describe what Xander was. He was her brother and her friend and what ever else she needed Xander to be. "He my…" She let go of a breath. "He's my Xander."

"Again I am wondering how you are connected"

"Right now he's my roommate. He's my best friend and he's the one guy I know I can count on."

"Well right now that guy you can count on is in the other room spilling his guts blaming all of this on you."

Buffy knew he was lying. She threw him a sarcastic smile. "Really? Oh God I should just tell you everything right now than cause obviously I need to save myself."

Booth sat across from her an angry snarl painted on his face. "Where did you meet Xander?"

"I met him in high school."

"Where did you go to High School."

"Sunnydale High. You want to see my yearbook?"

Booth smiled having a plan. "Any Sunnydale high what city is that in?"

Buffy looked at him like he was an idiot. "Sunnydale California obviously."

"A HA I gotcha."

"What do you mean you got me?"

Booth flopped an atlas down in front of her. "There is no Sunnydale California."

"Well not anymore obviously. I mean the whole thing got sucked in to the earth and now it's just a giant pit."

"Enough talk." Booth flipped open to a map of California. "Now I have a Sunnyvale California but no Sunnydale."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh now you are just being crazy." She grabbed the book from his hands and looked at where Sunnydale should be in it's place was a entirely different city. "This is a joke right. You printed this up to mess with me."

"There is no Sunnydale now I don't know what your game is but you need to level with me."

"I do live in Sunnydale I swear."

"Let me guess it's right next to Springfield or Quahog. Maybe we should call the people from Gotham and see if they know where Sunnydale is."

"Sarcasm looks good on a lot of people you aren't one of them." Buffy looked at her nails. "I want my stuff back."

"Your stuff?"

"Mainly the iPod looking thing."

"You have a lot more to worry about right now than music."

"Be that as it is. I want it back."

He was about to respond when his phone rang out. The caller ID showed it was his wife. He needed to talk to her. "I'll be back. You should get smart real quick." Booth stepped in the hallway pushing the button. "Tell me you have something good?"

Brennan stood over the bones looking at them as she talked to her husband. "We were able to reconstruct and determine the identity of the victim from the woods."

"You got a name."

"The most recent name we were able to link him to is Cooper Hoffman."

"That can't be right. Cooper Hoffman is the guy what we have in custody."

"It is right. We checked his fingerprints and he is your guy."

"We checked the fingerprints of the guy we have in custody and they match as Cooper Hoffman."

"That isn't possible."

"Than you tell me what we are looking at here?"

"I really don't know."

"You don't know? Don't give me I don't know. You are my answer girl. You give me different theories and possibilities. You never say I don't know."

"2 people having the exact same finger prints is a genetic impossibility. I am not sure how this could have been done."

"Do we know how the guy died. Your murderer is most likely left handed."

"Strangulation."

Booth sighed "I'll see you shortly. If you find out anything else call me." With that he hung up the phone.

As Brennan hung up the phone Hodgins came in carrying a vile. "So I have identified the insect larva as aphids. These are the kind that have grown popular in the last few years with the organic gardeners."

She took the vile of bugs and held them up to the light to better examine them. "Are they common in the forrest?"

"Not the forrest we were in."

She shook her head swiping key card to enter the lab. "I just got off the phone with Booth and he told me that the man they have in custody has the same fingerprints as the victim in the lab. "

Hodgins shook his head laughing. "It has to be shorty lab work. I mean that isn't possible."

"In what scenario could a man have the exact same fingerprints as someone else?"

"None as far as I know. I mean twins have the same DNA but different finger prints."

"Yes and even if you were to hypothetically clone someone the fingerprints are going to be different. "

"So how than?"

"Either the FBI made a mistake or."

"Or?"

"I don't know the or. I mean." She looked stumped and unsure.

Hodgins smiled his usual crazy smile when he was about to spew a conspiracy theory. "Didn't Booth get grabbed by some woman who mistook him for someone else."

"Yes it was a simple case of mistaken identity. The woman later admitted she thought Booth was someone he wasn't."

"And now we have a victim in the lab who looks just like the man the FBI has in custody."

"Down to the fingerprints."

"Well they say everyone has a look a like in the world."

"That theory is completely unfounded."

"Well when you eliminate all possible theories all that remains how ever improbable ."

Brennan just stood over the bones looking down at them. "What in the hell is going on here."

It was just after 2pm when Booth had Xander brought out of his cell. This time he was taken in to what looked more like a back office. A man in a lab coat was standing next to Booth. Xander looked at him. "What is it you want this time?"

"You offered to take a lie detector test."

"Fine. What ever. Lets just get this over with." The lab tech motioned for Xander to sit and started hooking wires form the machine up to him.

Booth stood in the corner waiting for the lab tech to do his work. "So you didn't seem to like the breakfast we serve here."

"I assumed that was the food you picked for me cause you didn't like me."

"Of course not. I don't need food to show you that I really don't like you."

Xander smirked thinking in this universe or any other he couldn't get along with Angel. "It is nice to see some things never change."

"What does that mean?'"

"Forget it."

The lab door behind them opened and a shorter man in a suit came through. He looked a lot younger than Agent Booth and even Xander himself. Booth looked at Xander. "This is Doctor Lance Sweets. I invited him to sit in I hope you don't mind. Sweets this is." He looked at him. "Well he says his name is Xander."

Xander shook it off and looked at Booth. "He's a doctor really? When did he start med school? When he was 5"

Sweets gritted his teeth. "I can assure you that I am more than competent."

Booth slinked next to him muttering. "Does kind of make a point though. You ever consider maybe a goatee or a beard. Something to not make you look so."

Sweets smiled and looked to Booth. "Let's just stay on task."

The lab tech looked at them. "He's ready to go when you want to ask your questions."

Booth sat down in the chair locking eyes with Xander. "What connection do you have with that body we found in the forrest."

"I've never seen that body before last night."

"Have you ever used the Alias Cooper Hoffman."

"No."

Booth sighed looking at the lab tech so far all of the answers he gave were straight forward. He had more questions on the chart but felt he needed to throw him a curve ball. He needed to ask something not about the scene. "What is the name of the School, City and State you graduated from."

"Sunnydale High in Sunnydale California."

Booth jumped up "Ah -HA That has to be a lie. There is no Sunnydale California."

The lab tech looked at him. "It's not registering as a lie."

Sweets looked at Xander trying to reclaim some peace. "Tell us about the girl. What connection does she have to the body found in the woods."

Xander turned his attention to Sweets. "She doesn't know him either. The first time either of us saw that body was shortly after Agent Booth did."

Booth looked to the lab tech hoping for something. The lab tech confirmed "He's telling the truth."

Booth stood up frustrated. "Sweets can I see you outside?"

Lance got up and walked out to the hallway. As he did so Booth followed. Booth leaned against the wall. "How did he do that?"

"Maybe he is telling the truth?"

"Come on Sweets people have beaten the lie detector before."

"Psychopaths maybe but this guy doesn't register any of those psychopathic tendencies."

"Come on maybe he's conning all of us."

Sweets put his hands up in surrender. "You are the senior agent here. I have seen you say that more than the facts some times you just have to go with your gut. Sometimes you need to read the situation. Do you feel like this guy is good for this murder."

"What I think is." He sighed. "I think he's a jerk. I think I don't like him. My gut tell me that he didn't do this."

"Maybe you should step back from the situation. I mean you said you don't like him. Maybe that judgement is clouding your ability to see things clearly."

"Hey I am a fountain of open mindedness. I have lots of people I don't like that I don't frame."

"Okay just remember that old saying. You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."

Booth scrunched his nose. "I always hated that saying. Why does anyone want flies."

"If you need me to I can work up a full psychological profile on him."

Booth turned around and headed back in the room. "Hold off on that I'll let you know if I need you again."

Xander stood up. "So back to the cell?"

Booth crossed his arms. "You are still holding something back?"

"Of course I am. We all have things we hold back. You going to tell me you don't have a secret or two. I can tell you honestly that none of my secrets are related to your investigation."

Booth sighed pointed to the door. "Back to the cell."

Xander walked the hallways back to his cell as Booth stood behind. "How long are you going to hold us?"

He diverted the question changing the subject. "So I talked to your friend Buffy today."

Xander kept his eyes forward but tried to hide his emotion. "You should stay away from Buffy."

"So this guy that she mistook me for. What his name Arnold?"

"Actually his name is Angel."

Booth stopped in his tracks putting his hand on Xander's shoulder stopping him. "Wait. The guys name is Angel. Like as in God's messenger or what ever."

"That is his name."

"Kind of feminine for a man."

For once they had common ground Xander stood there a little guffawed. "That's what I always said."

"So she thought I was this Angel guy?"

Xander turned around and started walking again. "You do look just like him. A little older and softer around the middle but all in all you are him."

"So I take it that she and him were more than roommates."

Xander just kept walking glad Booth couldn't see his face. "Not really your business."

"We have a technical term in the FBI for what that was. It's called jealousy."

"Again what goes on between Buffy and I is not your business so I won't be speaking to you about any of it. There is one thing I do want to ask."

"What?"

"I didn't have to do the test today. I did that as a sign of goodwill. So I think you owe me a favor."

"I don't owe you a favor but lets hear it."

"The thing you took from me. Was wondering if I could have the iPod back. It's not a weapon. Not really a good reason to keep it from me." Xander stopped at the cell door waiting for the guard to unlock it. As the electronic clunk was heard and the door slid open Xander stepped inside.

"That thing is pretty important isn't it?"

"Well it is just you know I figured some music would be nice."

"You don't try to hide something from the FBI for just some music. Buffy asked me about it too."

"It belongs to us. Please return it."

As the door locked shut Booth turned around going to the evidence lock up. He grabbed everything that got turned in from them. He laid it all out on his desk. He opened Buffy's wallet to find pictures. Sure enough there was a picture of her Xander and some redhead standing in front of a school. In big letters it read Sunnydale High. An old tattered photo was what really held his interest. Looking back at him had to be the one they called Angel. Xander wasn't lying. He looked just like him. Booth rubbed his eyes and muttered "What the hell is going on here."

A quick knock at the door had him looking up as the door opened and Brennan stepped in. "Am I interrupting?"

Booth shook his head. "Just trying to figure out this twilight zone of a case."

"Would fresh eyes help?"

Brennan came behind him and looked at the photos laid out on the desk. The one of Angel caught her attention. She picked it up. "Why do they have a picture of you?"

"That's what I'm up against. That's not me. The guy in the hole in the forrest isn't the guy in the cell and Sunnydale isn't a real place?"

Brennan put the photo down and sat across from him. "Well if it helps at all I double checked the finger prints and you guys missed a minor detail?"

"What detail?"

She pulled out two sets of finger prints putting them in front of him. "The one on the right belongs to Cooper Hoffman. They are identical in every way to the man in the cell." She pointed to the left set of prints. "Except for some scarring. Cooper Hoffman has a scar on his finger on the right index. If you look to the left same finger you will find no scar. Other than that the finger prints are the exact same in every way."

"I thought that was impossible."

"It is."

Booth picked up the hopper and took it out of the plastic bag. "Does this look like anything to you?"

Brennan picked it up and looked it over. "Not of any technology I recognize."

"They seemed to make a big deal about this."

"Did you get any more information from the body?"

"Aphids were found on the body. That species of insect is used more for 's favored by those who don't want to use pesticides. They aren't commonly found in the woods."

"So we might be looking for an organic farmer?"

"The guy we have locked up passed the lie detector. I thought he might have been just that good of a liar but Sweets says only psychopaths are capable of cheating the tests and he isn't a psychopath."

"For what it is worth I don't believe he killed Cooper Hoffman. The killer was of much shorter stature."

"How short?"

"We estimated in the lab that the killer was some where between 5 foot 3 and 5 foot 5"

Booth quickly scampered for the information he had on Buffy. "She is 5 foot 4."

"Dark hairs were found in the victims hand. They were most likely pulled out while fighting off the attack."

"Well she is a blonde but it's not like people can't die there hair."

"If you can get me a DNA sample I could compare it to the hair."

"That might be our next step. The problem is the lie detector test."

She interrupted. "You asked him if she did it and he passed because he thinks she didn't. It doesn't make him a liar it just makes him ill informed."

"I guess I could ask her for a DNA sample. With out a warrant and probable cause."

"You'll find a way. You always do."

Booth stood up and crossed the desk hugging his wife. "Sweets thinks I play bad cop too much."

"Sweets said you are a bad cop. Not only is that inaccurate it's just wrong. You are an FBI agent not a cop and you are exemplary in the field. You are"

Booth shook his head. "That's not what I meant. It's just the idea that maybe if I was less confrontational." "What if we are looking in the completely wrong direction? Let's just play for a second. I know the odds are like 1 in ten billion maybe higher that all the coincidences are just coincidences but."

"But?"

"What if that is just what it is. Just an unbelievable coincidence."

"With out those coincidences what would you do with this case. Take them out of it and ask yourself what would your next step of been.

"I think the most obvious answer is Cooper Hoffman was a conman. He had to piss a lot of people off. I would want to know abut the people he pissed off. Some where in there you are going to find someone who wanted to kill him." Just than he looked at Brennan and got an idea. "Let's meet tonight for supper."

"Supper?"

"Yeah meet me at the Royal Diner at 7pm"

Booth hugged Brennan and kissed her quickly. "I got to go." He stopped at the directors office. It took a little work but he told them the science didn't support Xander as the killer. He was following his gut. He wasn't 100 percent sure if Buffy was in the clear but he figured a little honey might go a long ways. With in the hour Buffy and Xander were given back there clothes and the orange prison jumpers were taken away. Booth wasn't ready to release them completely but he realized easing up might benefit him a little.

So at 5pm Buffy and Xander were moved out of the cell and taken to a more comfortable room. It had a tv couch and a mini fridge. It was more like a cheap hotel room than a jail cell. The room was nice but when Buffy saw Xander she practically tackled him in a hug. "Oh God Xander I was sooo worried about you."

He just laughed and hugged her back. "It's okay Buff. You know you can't keep a Scooby down."

Buffy looked at him. "We got to get our hands on the hopper and get the hell out of here. They think you killed someone."

"It's going to be okay Buffy."

"No it isn't. God Xander the day you met me you should have went screaming running the other way."

Xander just laughed. "What?"

"Seriously why you have stuck around for as long as you have."

"I stick around cause that is what friends do Buffy."

"How can you not see it. You tried to get away from me. You had plans for this life but I couldn't see past my own needs. I had to be the clingy trouble following psycho she beast and asks you if I could come with."

"And I was glad you did Buffy. I would have been miserable living by myself."

"You'd still be home though. You wouldn't be getting accused of murder."

"Buffy I'm not going to let you take the hit on this one. Maybe the universe isn't cursing you. Maybe it's cursing us."

"Xander I was the one who pushed the button. I was the one who tracked down the mugger. That is just the start of the whole latest screw up that is the Buffy Summers contamination."

"Buffy we are going to be okay. Even if what you said was true that some how the universe has against you in this massive jinx or something you balance it all out in the end."

"How do you figure."

"Cause any trouble that comes my way you are the one to stand up to it. You are not only my best friend but your my hero Buffy."

Buffy just hugged him again. "I just want to go home."

"We will Buffy. I promise." Just than they were interrupted by a tap at the door Agent booth opened the door stepping in.

"Can I come in for a moment?"

Xander shrugged. "Could we stop you if we wanted too?"

Buffy swatted at Xander's shoulder "Be nice."

Booth stepped to the two of them. "I talked with the director and we felt you might be more comfortable in here."

Xander crossed his arms. "But we still aren't free?"

Buffy looked at Xander "It's probably better off Xander. I mean it's not like we have any where to stay while we are here."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Back in your life for 2 seconds and your already siding with Angel."

Booth put his hands up. "Excuse me my name is Booth. I was hoping this room would be considered an olive branch. Maybe we don't have to be enemies."

Buffy just fidgeted with her fingers. "So you think we didn't do this?"

Booth looked around the room. "I think that the story the two of you have put in front of me is like 1 in 10 billion but I guess 1 in 10 billion can happen even once."

Xander looked at Booth and forced a smile. "Well I guess I would just like to say thank you for everything."

Booth smiled and laughed. "God that must have unbearable for you to say."

Xander nodded. "You have no idea."

Booth walked past them opening the curtains so the sun would shine in. It felt weird seeing him in the sunlight. "You guys should know I looked up what the meal for supper tonight it. I think it's cream of meatloaf."

Buffy shook her head. "As yummy as that sounds I think I'll pass."

Booth smiled. "Hoping you two would say that. Come on I'll treat you two to supper."

Xander looked confused. "Come on? I thought we were prisoners."

Booth shrugged. "Actually you are being held for questioning. Not really the same thing as arrest. You are under my custody so I can say when and where you go."

Buffy felt there had to be some kind of catch. "So why supper? What is in it for you?"

Booth took a breath. "Me my wife are trying to figure out a few things."

Xander looked skeptical. "What kind of things?"

Booth opened the door for them. "That can wait till I have at least a good cheeseburger in me."

Buffy followed him out the door. "As long as they don't sell blue magic at the restaurant"

Booth had a puzzled look on his face. "What the hell is blue magic."

Xander shook his head pulling the door shut behind them. "Don't ask."

An hour later they arrived at the cozy little Royal Diner. The placed looked like a popular enough hang out. Brennan was already sitting at their usual booth when the three of them arrived. Booth carried a bag setting it on the table. As he approached his wife he kissed her hello. Brennan looked at Buffy than Xander. She eyed his face a little amazed.

"You are the exact match of the victim found in the grave. It's really quite remarkable."

Xander slid in to the booth. "Well I am the master of all things remarkable."

Booth slid next to his wife and picked up the menu. "I am starving so I say we eat."

Buffy looked at the menu. "Well you took our wallets and money. Not that there was a lot in there."

Booth shook his head. "Consider this a gift of the FBI."

Xander took a menu reading. "Well in that case I'll take the biggest most exspensive item there is."

Buffy smiled looking at the menu. "That is Xander's way of saying thank you."

As they ate their food they made small talk. As Angel finished his food he pushed the plate away. "I had ulterior motives for inviting you out tonight."

Xander lifted the glass of cold beer taking a sip. "So what are these motives."

Brennan looked at both of them. "You are an anomaly. We have ran your fingerprints and we ran the finger prints of the victim and some how you both have the same fingerprints."

There was a tense silence at the table and Booth looked back and fourth at both of them. "We both know that is physically impossible Yet here it is."

Buffy didn't want to say anything. She sighed. "What are you asking us?"

Brennan barely let her get her words out. "How? What are you?" She looked at Xander. "Cloning wouldn't explain."

Xander laughed a little. "I'm not a clone." He leaned back against the booth. "The truth is you don't want the truth. You wouldn't believe us if we told you."

Booth locked eyes with him. "Why don't you let me decide what we do or don't believe."

Buffy shook her head. "Xander is right. You are better off not asking some questions."

With that Booth brought the bag out and brought the hopper in to view. "Does this have anything to do with it."

Xander put his hand out to reach for it but Angel pulled back. "That belongs to us."

Brennan supporting her husband looked at them. "It's evidence in an on going FBI investigation."

Booth took out the evidence bag and held it in his hand he ran his thumb over the big button. "What would happen if I push this."

Xander sighed afraid. "STOP." He knew Booth had him. "Okay fine. You want the truth."

Buffy put her hand on Xander's shoulder. "Xander are you sure we should tell them?"

Xander shook his head. "No I'm not. We don't have a choice though." He looked down and took a deep breath. "You are going to call me a liar. You re going to say I'm crazy. Hell I'm here and I don't believe it."

Brennan looked at him. "I have an open mind to all things."

Xander looked at Booth. "This has nothing to do with your investigation. I tell you this it's 100 percent off the record."

Booth nodded, "Just four friends discussing over dinner. That is all this is."

Buffy cleared her throat. "I'm not sure how long it's been. I think some where between a week and a week and a half. Xander and I were on our way to our best friends birthday party."

Xander smiled thinking of Willow. "It had been almost 3 weeks since we seen her. I know that may not seem like a lot but we are pretty close."

Buffy realized they were wandering off subject. "That thing you have in your hand we call it the hopper. So far it's proven to be one of the bigger regrets of my life."

Booth examined it carefully "What kind of regret?"

Xander smirked. "We pushed the wrong button and bam we are taken to differently different world or dimension or reality. What ever you want to call it."

Buffy sighed and ran a finger through her hair. "You were right to assume we weren't from here. In our world you are a vampire. I am the vampire slayer and Xander is my side kick."

Brennan looked at both of them skeptically. "The idea of Booth being a vampire isn't likely. The metaphysical biology alone is impossible."

Xander nodded in agreement. "You are right. In this world it is impossible. In the reality we live in it is a part of life."

Booth looked at both of them. "See this is where you two piss me off a little. My wife is smarter than me. She's definitely smarter than you two and the fact that you expect us to believe in alternate realities is just dumb. Tell them all the scientific reasons what they just said to us is impossible." Booth smiled as if he had the ultimate weapon ready to unload.

Brennan looked to her husband. "I can't."

Booth looked at her shocked. "You are telling me that you believe they are from another dimension."

Brennan laughed at the notion. "Of course not. What you asked me though was to dispute that there are alternate dimensions and realities out there. Multiple credible scientist not only speculate that there are other dimensions, time lines or world but feel the worlds out there could be limitless. Stephen Hawkings ,Brian Green and Max Tegmark all believe in alternate realities just to name a few"

Buffy looked worried. "Endless amount of dimensions?"

Booth interrupted before she could answer. "Okay fine but do you believe those two are really capable of inventing a device to cross in to realities."

Brennan laughed at the concept. "Of course not."

Xander put his hands up in defense. "We never said we created the thing. We found it. Lord knows we wish we hadn't. All we want is to go home."

Booth held the hopper up. "And this will send you there?"

Buffy sighed. "Hopefully some day. Lately I'm not sure."

Xander took her hand "Buffy I promise you we are getting home."

Brennan looked at them. "As a scientist I promised you I would keep an open mind but what you are asking is too far out of reason. It's" Just than they were interrupted as the bell rang as Hodgens and Sweets came running in through the front of the Royal Diner.

Hodgens called out to them. "Guys" Hodgens froze in his tracks seeing Xander up close for the first time. "Whoa you guys weren't kidding he's like an exact replicant." He took his index finger poking Xander's shoulder as if he was checking to see if he was real.

Xander pushed his finger away. "Excuse me. Please don't touch."

Sweets looked at Booth. "We think we have a lead on the Cooper Hoffman murder."

Booth slid out and stood up. "What do you got."

Hodgens held up the beaker of aphids once again. "I cross referenced this particular species of bugs and looked for organic farmers in the area."

Sweets nodded cutting him off. "Once we did that we cross referenced any potential victims Cooper Hoffman might have taken advantage of."

Hodgens opened a folder. "Sydney Kinney. Has an organic vegetable plantation. At least she does for another 2 weeks."

Booth took the file examining it. "What happens in two weeks?"

Sweets flipped the next page. "The bank takes possession back. Seems Hoffman convinced the land owner to mortgage her farm in some form of ponzi scheme and pretty much she lost everything."

Booth looked a little surprised. "Where is she?"

Hodgens picked up the lead this time. "Dead. After the disgrace and feeling foolish she took her life 2 months ago."

Brennan interrupted this time. "But that body was killed no more than 10 days ago."

Sweets nodded not missing a beat. "Sidney had a daughter. That farm was to be her legacy. It was in the Kinney name for generations."

Hodgins interrupting again. "She is a left handed just like you said the killer would be and five foot five with dark brown."

Booth looked at Sweets. "We should bring her in."

Sweets smiled a happy smile of approval. "She is being taken to FBI headquarters as we speak."

Booth stood up quickly throwing a enough money on the table for a good tip and the food. "Come on we have to get back to the headquarters."

Xander picked up the hopper that Booth left of the table along with the bag that had there wallet id and other personal effects. Booth quickly grabbed the hopper from him. "Oh no. Not just yet."

Xander sighed and looked at Buffy. "So close."

Buffy and Xander rode in the back seat of the car with Sealy and Brennan up front. As they walked in to the building Booth looked at the two of them. "I'm just going to take you guys to wait for just a little longer if this is the person who killed Hoffman we will send you on your way."

Xander followed in behind him. "And we can have ALL of our stuff back."

Booth sighed. "Of course."

As they turned the hallway and to the room 2 local police officers were leading Andrea Kinney to the interrogation room. Xander almost fell over backwards when he saw her face. Everything about this girl said Buffy Summers. She had her face and her body and could have been yet another clone. Even Booth was taken back seeing her for the first time. Buffy stood next to him just as stunned.

Xander whispered to her. "I bet you that isn't the Buffy Bot."

Booth just threw his hands up sick of dopplegangers. "Come on already."

It took her a second but Andrea spotted Xander. She looked at him with absolute disgust and rage. She kicked the knee of the cop that was holding her and ran at him with everything she had. The girl was strong and fast. As she charged Xander she kicked him in the stomach doubling him over and than kicked him in the balls. "You son of a bitch. I will kill you a 100 more times if that is what it takes."

Brennan looked at Xander laying on the floor. "She seems to have a lot of hostility towards him."

Xander laid on the ground in the fetal position holding his balls. He heard the obvious statement and looked at Brennan "You think?" Buffy angry punched her in the face with everything she had flooring her. Xander groaned trying to feel better. "I really don't think I like alternate dimension you."

Booth picked up Andrea holding her hands behind her back. "That's not him. Trust me a lot of people make that mistake. You are under arrest for the murder of Cooper Hoffman."

She yelled angry. "He killed my mother. He stole my birthright. He's the criminal arrest him."

Buffy offered her hand to Xander pulling him up and off the ground. "You okay?"

Xander sucked in a slow deep breath. "I will be. In like 2 years." She looked at Andrea who was so angry and so bitter. "I get that you are mad and I'm sorry for everything you lost but I swear to you I didn't do it."

Andrea looked at him angry and spit at him. "Like I would believe a word you would say."

Booth had heard enough he looked to his wife. "Can you take these two to my office I'm going to deal with her." He turned his attention to Andrea. "You have the right to remain silent." He grabbed for his hand cuffs and as she did so she quickly pulled a hand free and punched him flooring him now. Free now she ran with everything she had. She charged through the double doors and ran up to a stair well.

Booth was angry and embarrassed he let someone get the drop on him. Andrea was just as fast as Buffy. Xander wondered if that was part farm girl or maybe just all Buffy's were 100 percent bad ass. With no words Booth took off following and the chase was on. It wasn't there fight but Xander and Buffy followed anyways. The stair well went up and led to other floors with other hallways and other rooms. As fast as Andrea was it quickly became a battle of who was better at hide and seek.

All of them went in different directions. Brennan followed Xander and scolded him. "You aren't an FBI agent and you shouldn't be getting involved."

Xander rolled his eyes. She couldn't yell at Buffy cause she was already gone. He just looked at her "Fine come with me than."

She looked at Xander reluctantly. "Fine but you should know I am more than capable of defending myself if you should try anything."

Xander just smirked. "I'll keep that in mind." Through nothing more than instinct Xander followed the stair well all the way to the access panel on the FBI roof. As he and Brennan climbed through the panel they did their best to walk quietly. If she was up there he didn't want to let her know they were following turned walking around the air duct when Xander saw had run to the edge of the roof and found it to be a dead end. The only way off the roof would be back the way she came. She started running when she spotted Xander and Brennan.

She knew she was trapped. Brennan turned and ran back to the access panel to get Booth up to apprehend her. Andrea looked at Xander angry. "This is all your fault."

Xander put his hands up trying to show her he meant no harm. "That guy wasn't me. If I had my way I would say that Hoffman guy got what he deserved."

Angry she looked at him. "You think I believe a word you say. You conned my mom and now you are trying to con me. She killed herself because she was so ashamed. She felt like she let me down. She died because of you."

"How is that possible. You put him in the ground. I wish he had never been uncovered. I wish" He shook his head. "If I were in your place and someone hurt the people I love the way he hurt you. I would have done the same thing."

She looked at Xander and saw a sympathy in his eyes Cooper Hoffman never had. In his eyes she saw understanding. She shook her head looking down and stepped back towards the edge. "It doesn't matter now. Not anymore? They are going to kill me for what I did or at least lock me up for the rest of my life." She felt the smooth cold cement block behind her and pulled back towards the edge. "And I'd rather die than spend my life locked up."

Xander stepped to her. "Please don't"

"What do you care? You don't know me."

Xander stepped to her. "Maybe I don't know you but that doesn't mean I don't care."

"You take another step and I swear I'll jump."

Xander froze afraid to move. "You can't stop fighting. Tell the world your story. You tell them how that sack of shit drove you to the option you saw possible. The jury will believe you. Agent Booth will believe you. He's a good man."

"I KILLED a man.. Good or not he can't make that go away."

"I know you can't stop fighting. You can't give up. I"m begging you with everything I have in me. Please come down from that ledge.I give you my word. If you come down I will do all I can to help you. I promise."

Andrea turned around looking at the ground. She was so high up and the lights shining from the the building and parking lot made things spin. "I just need to think."

The loud bang of the access panel could be heard crashing on the floor as Booth came up the ladder and on to the roof. The noise sent Andrea off balance. She fell backwards and almost in slow motion. Xander ran with everything he had and reached for her as she fell back. HIs hand grabbed her wrist holding her dangling over the edge of the building. Xander gripped with everything he had almost getting pulled over himself. Andrea looked up at Xander as he held her life in his hands. She could see this was not the man who had swindled her family. She cried. "Just let go."

Xander shook his head. "Never."

Booth had doubled timed it running to Xander and leaned over the building and pulled her up and over the side back to safety. Booth grabbed her angry . "Like I said you are under arrest." Xander rubbed his now sore shouldered. He looked at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah I"m fine. Just take it easy on her? She has been through a lot."

Brennan and Buffy arrived on the roof just in time to see Andrea being taken away by Booth. Andrea looked like a defeated animal who had lost all of fight. Brennan had taken Xander and Buffy to Booth's office to wait on him. Buffy was busy looking over the various photos and plaques that decorated the wall. "It's strange how different everything is. How different it can be."

"You still in love with him?"

She whipped around confused. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Well you love him in our world so I'm not sure how you feel about him here."

"First off what I felt for Angel was long ago. I mean not that it matters but this Booth guy isn't Angel. I mean he might look like him but come on. He is completely different in every." She smirked and pulled out the rolling chair behind Booth's desk. She smirked at him. "Is that jealousy I hear in your voice."

"Why does it have to be jealousy. Can I just genuinely dislike the guy."

She put her feet up on Booth's desk. "There is something that was bothering me."

"What?"

"After that girl kicked you in your junk."

"Thank you for reminding me."

"She spit on you and yelled at you. She called you a murderer."

"Is there a question coming?"

"I would think that after all of that you would be pissed and the last person to rush to her aid."

"Buffy you can't blame her for the situation. I mean she lost everything because the me in this world is a douche bag. He screwed her over completely. Put yourself in her place. What if someone had hurt Dawn so bad that it drove her to kill herself. What would you do?"

Buffy wanted to object but she knew she was right. "Fine I guess I can see that."

"Than it is the whole I'm not comfortable watching you die thing."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "It wasn't me. It just looked like me."

Xander stood up and turned around not looking at her. "Buffy I've been there to many times. I know it might not have been you but I don't even want to see the."

Buffy stood up and turned around to face Xander. "Xander?"

"It brought back the whole tower and Glory, or Warren and the gun or the Master and the cave. Buffy the worst moments of my life have been watching you die. Even if it wasn't you I don't want to anything that even looks like you dying."

"You never told me you felt that way."

He looked down at his feet. "What did you think Buffy? Watching you die was a walk in the park?"

"I'm sorry." She hugged him. "You are the part of this whole crazy universe hopping thing that makes any of it bearable."

Xander looked at her locking eyes and hugged her back. "I have to admit if I could pick anyone to be stuck with."

"Xander I want you to know some times I think about you and I wonder if." Booth opened the door to the office interrupting them.

"Hey this is my office show some restraint." Buffy quickly stepped back.

Xander looked annoyed. "So are we still under arrest?"

Booth shook his head. "I just talked to my director and you are free to go."

Xander stuck his hand out. "With all of our possessions that you confiscated from us?"

Booth reached in to his jacket pocket and took out the hopper. He handed it to Xander. "You really don't expect me to believe that you are just going to push a button and you are going to magically disappear."

Xander quickly turned on the hopper and read the screen. He sighed relieved seeing that they could leave any time they want. "Of course not that would just be silly."

Booth looked at Xander than at Buffy. "Seriously where ever you two go just be careful. The whole arrest thing aside you both seem like nice people and I'd hate to have to arrest you and detain you." He looked at Buffy. "Well I'd hate to detain you."

Xander smiled. "Oh Agent Booth how I will miss this."

Buffy pulled Xander out the door. "I'm taking him with me before he says something to get arrested again."

As they walked out the office Booth's phone rang out with a text message. It turned out everyone had went to local bar for a drink. After a long day a cold drink was just what he needed to end the day. Hodgins, Angela, Sweets, Cammile and Brennan. Brennanhad told her friends co workers. Brennan had shared the story Buffy and Xander had told them over dinner.

Hodgens was drinking a cold beer and looked at Brennan. "You know if I known they were from another dimension I would have liked to ask them a few things about there world?"

His wife Angel slinked her arm around him. "Oh come on. You can't tell me you really believe that stuff about alternate dimensions."

Hodgens lifted his bottle drinking deeply. "Oh I absolutely believe it. A world where the CIA didn't really kill Kennedy or we didn't fake the moon landing. I mean come on it is exciting to think about."

"Yeah well in this world or any other as long as I have you and Michael I would find a way to make do." She kissed her husband. "Speaking of which I promised him we would pick him up some ice cream before we go home so." Cammile was sipping her wine talking with Sweets.

"You met the guy Sweets so you tell me. This whole alternate dimension theory. I mean did they seem crazy?"

Sweets shook his head. "Just because you believe something crazy doesn't make you crazy. I mean would you call someone who goes to church on Sunday and believes that beyond this world there is another. Are they crazy?"

Brennan over hearing the conversation spoke up before Cammile could finish. "Many consider organized religion to be a form of widely accepted insanity. That some could argue does more damage than those we deem insane."

Cammile closed her eyes and laughed "And with that I am reminded I need more to drink."

Booth entered the bar stepping behind his wife and kissed her neck. "Surprise." She spun around in his arms.

"You are done for the day I am hoping."

"My only concern for the next 12 hours is Christine and you."

"What's going to happen to Ms Kinney?"

"Most likely she will spend the rest of her days in prison."

"You seem unhappy."

"What she did was wrong but I get it. She lost everything cause of."

Hodgens yelled getting attention "Hey look at the television."

Booth and Brennan quickly turned there attention to the flat screen wondering what was so damn important. That is when he recognized Xander Harris on the screen. Gone was the eye patch and it's place was a simple pair of sunglasses.

The reporter held the mic to Xander. "Sir you are claiming that the FBI are holding a woman for murder but not just any murder. Your murder."

Xander smiled looking at the camera. "Sorry Agent Booth. Yes my name is Cooper Hoffman and they are wrongly convicting an Andrea Kinney. They said she killed me but as you can see I look pretty good for a dead man."

The reporter looked on holding the mic to his face. "Aren't you worried about the implications of what might happen to you once the FBI catches up to you."

Xander just smiled his usual smile. "Yes. That's why as soon as I'm done here I'm going on the run but I can not let someone go to prison for something they didn't do. Which is why I've left you with all the proof of my identity." Xander gave her an envelope. "Earlier on camera I gave you my finger prints along with a blood sample as indisputable proof I am who I say I am."

Booth looked at the screen cursing. "Son of a bitch."

Brennan shook her head. "He doesn't really think that will work does he?"

Booth sighed "How can we explain someone with the same fingerprints and DNA. How do we explain arresting someone for killing a person who later appears on camera."

"But we still have the bones from Cooper Hoffman."

"It's called reasonable doubt and he just threw a whole lot of it out there God I hate that guy"

Buffy was waiting in a back ally as Xander quickly snuck away from the news crew. She had the hopper in hand. "I'm not sure you did the right thing Xander."

"I'm not sure I did either but sometimes you gotta say what the hell."

"Weren't you the guy talking about butterflies and not causing waves in the world we visit."

"Yeah well my doppleganger was a real piece of crap so I figured maybe it was time I put some things in balance. This face can do something good in the world for once."

"That the only reason."

"Well it is kind of fun making the whole headache for Booth."Just than Xander heard a siren. "My guess is that's the FBI or police looking for Cooper Hoffman. I say it would be best if we aren't here when they arrive."

Buffy took out the hopper. "Agreed." With that she took Xander's hand pushed the button on the hopper and they both disappeared leaving the ally empty once again.

As Xander opened his eyes the dark night was replaced with a bright blue sky. Where ever it was he felt cold. He yawned and opened his eyes and suddenly realized why he was feeling so cold. Gone was the t-shirt and jeans he was wearing. In it's place was a glittery bedazzled red banana hammock and a single bow tie around his neck. Suddenly feeling very exposed Xander covered up using his hands.

Buffy still unaware of where they were "So where do you think we" She turned looking at Xander. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?"

Xander looked at Buffy who was wearing a simple sundress. "This is soooooo not fair."


End file.
